When Shadows Fade
by Paunakan Jen
Summary: Kid is haunted by memories of the past as the riders return to Sweetwater. Events happen six years after the demise of the Pony Express. Originally published on the Riders Coming! site but has been thoroughly re-edited. Some new scenes, new dialogue.
1. Prologue

**Author's note:** This was written a few years back and posted on Riders Coming! A The Young Riders Web site. It has since been re-edited and tweaked.

**Disclaimer:**The Young Riders don't belong to me, but to MGM/UA Television, Ed Spielman and Josh Kane. No copyright infringement intended.

**When Shadows Fade**

by Kate Red

Prologue

MANASSAS, VIRGINIA — 1852

Nothing about the night spoke of the horrors it would later witness. Silence reigned as it did since the beginning of time, the peace occasionally broken by the weak chirping and ticking of sleepy birds and busy bugs. The moon, in its eternal ritual, rose high above the mountains, and bathed the plains with its silver gray light. In a small clearing in the woods not far from the house, two small boys giggled quietly as they played marbles.

"Your ma will be worried when she finds you gone." With a flick of his forefinger, the boy sent his marble barreling towards the ones neatly aligned near the hole. He nearly shouted in glee when all the marbles fell in one after the other.

The other boy tugged at his curly, russet-colored hair, annoyed at losing two of his marbles. He shot his older friend a mischievous glance. "Nah, she ain't gonna know. I put pillows in my bed like my brother does when he sneaks out and takes a dip in the creek."

"That's clever."

"Yeah, Jed's clever. You know he—" The boy stopped mid-sentence and turned to look suspiciously at the woods behind him. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" his companion absent-mindedly asked as he flicked another marble toward the hole.

"I thought I heard something."

"A rat?"

The younger boy rolled his eyes at his friend and got ready for his turn at the marbles. He already lost five of the shiny ones, three more than he could afford to lose and he wanted them back. He crouched down and tucked his forefinger under his thumb, already lost in the game, forgetting the sounds he thought he heard.

In the barn, the horses stirred, sensing the approaching danger. From the hills beyond, tiny specks of light began to appear and a rumble could be heard.

One of the boys looked up. "I think it's going to rain."

The other boy noted the absence of dark clouds that usually came with a storm. But the thunder only grew louder and louder. Fearfully, he turned to look once again at the woods behind him and froze at what he saw.

Behind him, the shadowy figures of men in horseback began to emerge, five ... twelve ... twenty ... he'd lost count. They were men in black masks, most carrying torches, all carrying guns. Acting on instinct, the younger boy jerked his friend behind some shrubs, the thick foliage and the darkness effectively shielding them from the horses and the men that thundered past.

From their hiding place, the two boys watched in shock as the men went directly toward the barns, releasing the horses from their stalls. After some of the men led the animals away from the barn, one pitched his torch onto a pile of hay next to the barn. It was immediately engulfed in flames, the blaze kissing the walls of the wooden structure.

Shots rang out from the house, drawing the attention of the masked attackers. With one thought, half of the riders turned toward the modest one-level house and began to fire back.

One of the boys started to run for the house, but his friend immediately stopped him, pulling him back in the relative safety of the shrubs. For long, torturous minutes the stricken kid watched in horror as the men continued their assault on his family's house, stopping only to reload, firing again and again and again.

Satisfied no one could have survived the hail of bullets, one of the men, who appeared to be the leader, motioned three of his men to go in. They did and found an old man dead, his body riddled with lead. Beside him lay the bodies of his two sons. Stifled cries and whimpers prompted the three men to check out the rooms at the back of the house. Inside the last room, under a huge bed, lay two terrified figures. Carelessly, a young woman and a little girl of three were dragged out of the house. The mother, seeing her dead husband and her father, ran to their sides screaming, wailing.

With all the fear, the outrage he felt, the boy — who has seen the bodies of his grandfather, father and uncle dragged before him — pulled free from his friend's grasp.

"No, Pete." The words came out in a hoarse whisper. Kid watched helplessly as his friend ran toward his mother and sister. He wanted to cry out, but fear froze the words in his throat when he saw one of the men draw his gun and fire at the small running figure. Pete was dead even before he reached his mother's embrace.

Their work done, the leader signaled his men to gather and prepare to leave the scene of their crime. The leader — who hadn't spoken a word during the entire time — now let out a maniacal laugh as he led the escape. Kid's ears perked up. There was something familiar about that laugh. But all thoughts fled his mind when the big black horse carrying the leader suddenly stopped in front of the bush where Kid was hiding. Kid felt his heart skip a beat. From behind the leaves Kid watched as the man looked down at one little marble peeking from underneath the shrub. The blood drained from Kid's face and he shut his eyes tight, praying for a fast, painless death.

It did not come.

When he opened his eyes, the man had disappeared into the night.


	2. Chapter 1

SWEETWATER, NEBRASKA TERRITORY — 1867

"Pete, no. God! PEEEEETE!"

A loud scream pierced the stillness of the night. Outside, the horses in the barn responded to the wail of distress with snickers and grunts of their own. Even nature called back with a rolling of the clouds and a faint, distant rumble. Lou woke up with a start, instinctively reaching for her robe when she realized the scream came from the figure beside her. Kid was thrashing his head, mumbling in his sleep. "No, don't go. NO!"

"Kid," Lou rolled over and cradled her husband in her arms, trying to soothe him. Immediately, she noticed the beads of sweat dotting his forehead. Kid's body was cold and clammy to her touch. "It's all right. I'm here. Shhhhhh. I'm here."

Slowly, Kid opened his eyes.

"Hey." Lou smiled gently at her husband, brushing the damp locks off his forehead. "You OK?"

Kid nodded but didn't move away from Lou. Silently, he moved his arms so he could wrap them around her.

"What did you dream about?"

Still trembling at the images indelibly imprinted in his mind, Kid couldn't share the horrors of his nightmare with her. "I don't ... I don't remember."

Lou stroked Kid's head. She knew he was lying; she'd seen the torment in his eyes. As she debated whether to press another loud cry — this time coming from the nursery — disturbed the relative peace of the night.

"I'll get her. Go back to sleep," Kid said shakily, as he dropped a quick kiss on a shoulder left bare by the thin straps of his wife's nightgown. Lou watched as Kid got out of bed, the light from the moon showing him shrugging into his robe with some difficulty.

With a lamp, Kid finally made his way toward the nursery where their one-year-old daughter was airing her lungs out.

Lou knew the precise moment Kid reached Mary Lou's crib. The cries were immediately replaced with gurgles, for as soon as the infant saw her father she stopped her pitiful wailing. It had become some sort of a nightly ritual for him to make these nocturnal visits. Kid would feign dismay at being roused in the middle of the night and "scold" Mary Lou for waking them up. At the same time he would listen to his daughter's happy babble, basking in the warm feeling of the child's unconditional love. After making sure she wasn't wet, he would take her out of the crib. With the baby's head comfortably snuggled in that hollow space between the neck and the collarbone and one of her hands wrapped tightly around his neck, Kid would sit on the chair and quietly rock Mary Lou back to sleep.

It usually took Kid only a few minutes to settle Mary Lou back in her crib, but tonight it was taking him a while longer. Lou listened for the creak of the rocking chair, but heard none. The only sound was the increasing rumble of the coming storm. She decided to check on her husband and her children.

On the way to the nursery, Lou passed by James' room. The 5-year-old was sleeping deeply, drooling on one side of his mouth. When Lou tried to wipe his cheek with the edge of her robe, James let out a muffled yet decidedly irritated sound. Just like his Uncle Jimmy, Lou thought. Not for the first time, she sent a silent prayer to the heavens that her son inherit his father's control and not his namesake's volatile temper. Lou stepped out of James' room and felt her way along the wall to the nursery.

The baby was already in her crib, sleeping on her stomach with a thumb stuck in her rosebud mouth. Kid, on the other hand, was sitting in the dark, staring intently at the wall.

"Kid?"

The word broke Kid out of his reverie and he turned to see his wife watching from the door. He held out his hand, and she came to him, skillfully avoiding the multitude of toys that littered the floor of their nursery. She smiled as she narrowly avoided stubbing her toe on the train set Jimmy sent James two Christmases ago. Though Jimmy and Cody were far away, they never forgot to send presents to the children on Christmas and their birthdays. When Mary Lou was born, a buckboard full of presents arrived for both the new child and her older brother. It never ceased to amaze her how busy men leading exciting lives — at least according to newspapers and dime novels — could think of two children they've never even seen.

He is probably thinking of them now, Lou thought as she settled herself on her husband's lap. Those friends of theirs and the reason why they were coming home after the Pony Express broke up six years ago.

"Kid?" Lou whispered. When he didn't respond, she lifted her head, her eyes scanning her husband's troubled face. "What's wrong?" She caught a flash of something unidentifiable in his eyes. Fear? Desperation? Guilt?

"Teaspoon ...?"

Kid did not respond. He couldn't even if he wanted to. How could he tell Lou that until she mentioned Teaspoon he had forgotten all about their ailing friend. That his mind was consumed by the memory of that horrible night years ago, the gory images forever etched in his mind. Instead, he caught Lou's hand and pressed a kiss on her palm, her sweet scent soothing his shaky nerves.

Lou knew her husband, knew Kid will talk when he's good and ready. So, she didn't press. She asked instead, "Will the boys be here in time, you think?"

Long, torturous seconds passed before Lou heard Kid sigh, "I ain't sure, Lou," he said huskily. "I just ain't sure."

At dawn, Lou watched as Kid and Katie galloped out of the barn, past the wooden gate like bats out of hell. Within minutes, rider and horse were out of her sight, the settling dust the only sign they had even passed through. Lou stayed by the window, her forehead pressed to the pane. Her breath fogged up the glass, but she didn't move. Somehow it made sense that her view of the world was unclear. Her thoughts certainly were.

Kid was hurting but he wouldn't tell her why. Lou knew that in that sweet, yet infuriating way of his, he was protecting her by being silent, by refusing to share his burden. At first, Lou thought he was feeling guilty over Teaspoon's injuries but something told her it was more than that.

And then there were the nightmares ... of someone named Pete.

She didn't know how long she stayed like that, but the second time she looked up, she was blinded by the sun's glare. With a deep sigh, Lou finally backed away from the window, letting the curtain she was holding out of the way fall back in place. Pulling her nightgown over her head, Lou changed into her work clothes — a man's shirt and pants. She made the bed and cleaned the room. All the while her thoughts remained on her troubled husband and the events that began two weeks ago:

_"What'yah got there, Grampa?"_

_Teaspoon lowered the letter he was reading to see James at the other end of the table looking at him wide-eyed curiosity. The little boy had been following him like a puppy since he got the message an hour ago._

_"A letter from a friend."_

_Seeing an opening in the conversation and finally getting the older man's attention, James rushed across the room and clambered up Teaspoon's leg, settling in his lap with deft ease._

_"Anyone we know?" a voice asked._

_Teaspoon looked up to see Kid hanging his hat on the wall. "Well, you've heard me mention him. Marshal Jack O'Reilley."_

_Kid nodded in recognition. "Didn't he capture Calder's gang?"_

_"Yep, me and him were Texas Rangers together." Teaspoon dropped his gaze to the little boy sitting on his lap and found James sucking his thumb. Knowing Lou discouraged that, Teaspoon tugged at James's hand and the thumb came out with a pop. Hugging the giggling boy, Teaspoon continued, "Jack left the Texas Rangers, said he was getting married. But it seems the wife wasn't enough to occupy him." Teaspoon winked at the Kid who smiled dutifully at Teaspoon's attempt at levity. "Anyway, he took up marshaling and he's been catching bad guys ever since."_

_"What's the letter about?"_

_"What letter?" Lou asked as she walked into the dining room. She had been preparing dinner and was now carrying a large serving bowl of beef stew. Kid crossed the room to give his wife a quick kiss._

_"This one." Teaspoon waved the sheets of paper. "It's from O'Reilley. He's asking me to help him out with this gang which has been giving them trouble."_

_"Which gang, Teaspoon?" Lou asked._

_"The Black Raiders."_

_Since her arm was around the Kid's waist, Lou felt him stiffen at Teaspoon's words. She looked up just in time see the color drain out of his face. "What is it, Kid?" Lou whispered._

_Kid forced himself to forget the gory images that assaulted him and focused on his wife. "Huh? Oh ... nothing ... I just ..." he began but never finished._

_Teaspoon watched the whispered exchange with more than a little concern and interest. "Have you heard of the Black Raiders, Kid?"_

_"Uh, yeah. People talked about them when I was growing up in Virginia." Kid moved to the table and sat on his chair on Teaspoon's right. James wriggled out of Teaspoon's grasp to sit next to his father._

_"Yes, people do talk. They done a lot of things. All evil. Some folks say it is the Devil himself and his legions. And many agree."_

_"What do you mean?" Lou asked as she sat opposite the Kid._

_"They've killed scores of people. Most of the time, needlessly. Their primary goal is to steal. Though killing seems to be a prize in its own."_

_"Why has no one caught them?"_

_Teaspoon's voice dropped to an even more serious tone, "These Raiders, no one has really seen them. They are like ghosts. Those who are unfortunate enough to get a glimpse of them, never see the light of day again."_

_"Reason enough for you not to go," Kid said quietly._

_Both Lou and Teaspoon looked up at Kid's words, surprised he said that. _

_"Son, you know I can't NOT go. O'Reilley wouldn't ask if he didn't need to. This," Teaspoon held up the letter, "this here just means he needs it more."_

Lou let out a deep sigh as she recalled how Teaspoon rode out the next morning — alone. She was more than happy to have her husband at the ranch rather than chasing dangerous criminals but she had wondered why Kid didn't offer to ride with Teaspoon. It was unusual because Kid, sometimes serving as a deputy, always went with Teaspoon, especially in situations like this. Much as she would like to know the reason, though, Lou never asked the Kid. Somehow, she knew the reason was tied to the nightmares Kid began having the night Teaspoon received O'Reilley's message.

After making sure her 1-year-old daughter didn't need changing or feeding, Lou went down stairs to check on Teaspoon.

He and O'Reilley's posse returned last week, greatly diminished in number. O'Reilley caught up with the Black Raiders but the price for his small success was great. The criminals allowed the posse to follow them to their camp and effectively turned the tables when a score of men emerged from the shadows and joined the Raiders. Only five men escaped, among them was a badly wounded Teaspoon. He was shot once in the thigh, and twice on his left upper arm severing something clear through that the doctor thought of cutting the arm off. Kid fought Doc

Williams and threatened bodily harm if he even touched his saw. What concerned the good doctor most, though, was Teaspoon's head injury. A bullet grazed his temple and he hasn't woken up. It has been seven days.

Lou and Kid decided it was time to call the family home.

Six years had passed since Lou and Kid, Jimmy, Buck and Cody stood on the front porch of the Pony Express way station in Rock Creek and said their goodbyes to each other. The completion of the transcontinental telegraph line in October 1861 marked the end of an era in communications and the birth of a new one. The riders — once regarded as heroes of the country — found themselves out of a job. Everyone except Cody, who had signed up with the Army as a full-time scout.

Jimmy returned to Kansas to follow his father's footsteps and fight on the side of the abolitionists. Newlyweds Kid and Lou found themselves facing not the bright future they anticipated but a bleak one -- without jobs, without a home and caught in the middle of a war. Long torturous days passed before Kid made the choice to stay with his family not get involved in the war.

Then the letter from Emma and Sam came. The older couple congratulated Kid and Lou on their union and apologized for missing the momentous occasion three months before. Emma and Sam were supposed to visit Rock Creek to witness Kid and Lou's wedding but trouble had already started down by the borders, and Sam, being the territorial marshal, had to stay behind and help the Army. Random outbursts of fighting in the territory also prevented Emma from taking the stage and making the trip herself.

The letter was sent through Army couriers — the only kind of riders, aside from gunrunners, who were pounding the trails in those days. Inside the sealed envelope was Sam and Emma's gift and the answer to Kid and Lou's questions about the future — the deed to Emma's place in Sweetwater. Apparently, Emma never sold the place. Teaspoon took care of the house, the land and the station when Emma married Sam Cain and left town. When he and the riders left for Rock Creek, Teaspoon leased the house to a young couple who had since moved to California to seek their fortune in gold.

With their ready-made family — Kid and Lou picked up Lou's siblings, Teresa and Jeremiah from the orphanage in St. Jo on their way to Sweetwater — the couple began their new life. Since the only job both of them knew involved horses, they decided to raise them. Kid and Lou invited Buck, Rachel and Teaspoon to stay with them. Rachel, saying the newlyweds needed their privacy, chose to keep her teaching job and stay in Rock Creek. Teaspoon also decided to stay behind as Rock Creek's marshal. Buck later followed Kid and Lou to Sweetwater and stayed, helping them set up their ranch.

While the country was still obsessed with finding gold in California, the Sweetwater family began working on their ranch. Starting with no more than five horses — Katy, Lightning and three more horses Kid and Lou bought using all their savings — and a lot of bone-breaking, hard work, they began building their business. Some improvements here, a little branching out there and K&L began making a name for itself as one of the most best ranches in the territory.

Then one night, after six years of relative peace, the call came. Buck woke to the sound of galloping horses. When he came out of his house, all he could see was the dust kicked up by the departing riders. Hanging on one of the corral's posts was a round tablet with a drawing similar to the one Ike and Kid found in a burned down way station several years ago. His brother, the Kiowa war chief Red Bear, was calling for him. The next day, Buck packed his belongings, then kissed Lou and James. In silence, Buck and Kid hugged each other; the years had deepened their friendship. Blood brothers they may not be, but brothers nonetheless. Then the gentle Indian swung onto his horse and galloped away. They never heard from him again.

A year later, Teaspoon returned to Sweetwater. No explanation was given for his arrival and none was asked. When Sweetwater's marshal died in a gun battle, Teaspoon did what he did for Sam Cain several years ago — he stepped in.

With peace in the area and a thriving business, the Sweetwater family was happy and content — until the note about the Black Raiders arrived.


	3. Chapter 2

The ranch bustled with activity as the cock's crow signaled the beginning of a new day. Many of the ranch hands were busy repairing the slight damage caused by the storm last night. Frightened by the thunder and the sound of the heavy rains, some of the horses kicked the doors of their stalls. Though none broke down, the wooden doors were badly splintered and in need of fixing.

Kid, back from his pre-dawn run, replaced some slats on a wall while James kept him company with his constant chatter. The little boy diligently chose nails of the same sizes from the oversized box beside him and handed them to his father. Kid was hammering the last slat in place when he heard a buckboard ride up.

"Hey Tommy!"

"Kid!" the young man called back.

"What brings you here this early?" Kid dropped the hammer to shake hands with Tom Salinger, who owned the mercantile in town. James tugged at the pants of the nice man who gave him sweets every time he and his parents dropped by the store. Knowing the drill, Tommy slipped a piece of candy from his pocket and handed it to James. "Just passing through on my way back from Blue Creek."

Kid eyed the quantity of stuff on the buckboard. There were cans of beans and molasses, strips of jerky and, covered in butcher's paper, thick slabs of meat. "This is more than what you usually get," he observed.

"There was some trouble in Rock Creek and the marshal said the danger might move down to Blue Creek."

"What do you mean?" Kid's thoughts immediately went to the riders' former housekeeper, Rachel.

"Looks like the Black Raiders struck again. Attacked a ranch on the outskirts of town. Killed an older man, his two sons and his wife. Only the granddaughter was spared and the little girl can't talk. No one should have seen what that little girl saw. Marshal said the bodies were full of lead."

Splinters of gruesome images flashed across Kid's eyes — Inert bodies. A river of blood. A burning barn. A bullet-riddled house.

The lifeless eyes of a childhood friend.

A hand on his shoulder brought Kid back to the present. "Kid?" Tom's eyes held concern.

Kid shook his head. "Just remembering some of those stories, is all."

Tom nodded, realization dawning. "That's right, you'd have heard of the Raiders, coming from Virginia like you do."

Looking down, Kid suddenly became aware of his son's wide-eyed fascination with the gory story. He gave James a light shove toward his foreman, who was walking by, and with a nod of his head, indicated that the boy be taken elsewhere. When James was gone, Kid turned back toward Tommy.

"Outskirts of town? You don't mean Old Ben's Place, do you?"

Tommy rubbed his chin. "You know, I think that's what the marshal said. Old Ben. You know him?"

"We traded horses with him when we were riding for the Express."

"I'm sorry."

"What did the marshal say? Are they any closer to capturing the Black Raiders?"

Tommy let out a disgusted snort, "Those guys wearing badges don't know nothing about capturing these murderers. They had a better chance when Teaspoon was leading them." Tommy cast a glance at the main house. "How is the marshal, by the way?"

Kid shook his head. The doctor had said the longer Teaspoon stayed unconscious, the worse it got for him. "Doesn't seem to be getting any better."

"I'm sorry to hear."

"No need for apologies, you did nothing."

Tommy's voice turned grim. "Well, somebody did and they should pay for it. Folks say Sweetwater will be next, if the Raiders aren't stopped."

A chill crept up Kid's spine. To hide his reaction, he picked up his hammer and started choosing nails from the box. "Well, we'll worry about that when it comes. If it comes. I think we're pretty safe out here."

"I bet that's what Old Ben thought."

* * *

Lou looked up from the bacon she was frying to see her husband standing on the doorway.

"Was that Tommy I saw outside? Why didn't you invite him in?"

"He was in a bit of a hurry to get home to his wife."

"But not her cooking, I imagine," Lou said with a sly smile as she transferred strips of bacon onto a plate.

Kid pinched his wife lightly at the waist. "Just because you haven't burned anything in a month don't mean you're such an expert," he teased.

"Hey!" Lou swatted Kid's hand and walked toward the pantry to get a couple more eggs. "My bacon strips are perfectly crisp."

Kid smiled as he picked up Marylou from crib and sat down at the head of the table. The baby immediately began gurgling and blowing raspberries at her father. When Lou passed by, she automatically wiped the little girl's drool with her apron. "You were talking for quite a while. What did he say?"

"Who?" Kid asked absentmindedly as he made faces at the baby.

"Tommy."

Kid debated whether to tell Lou about Tommy's news. He had already kept so much from her. But telling her about Rock Creek would only lead to more questions — questions he was not ready to answer. "Just some town gossip."

Which turned out to be the wrong thing to say as it only piqued Lou's interest more. "Really? Oh, I want details."

"Uh, actually, it was nothing." Kid stood up quickly and placed Marylou back in her crib. "I need to check something. Be right back."

He missed the annoyed look on his wife's face.

* * *

Kid watched as Phantom, Katy's offspring, galloped around the corral, the other horses shying away from him. Not more than two months, the colt is already showing the grace and stamina of her mother. Behind him, the ranch bustled with activity. Horses were being fed, some were being walked. But Kid was oblivious to the magnificence of the young horse and to the energy of the place, his mind on the conversation with Sweetwater's mayor earlier in the day.

After breakfast, he'd gone into town to see if there were any telegrams or letters from their friends. He wasn't sure if any of the former riders had received any of the messages he'd sent. Using every means available to them — telegraph, mail, even strangers — he and Lou tried to contact Jimmy, Cody, Rachel, Amanda, Sam and Emma.

Jimmy was quite difficult to find despite accounts on various newspapers that chronicled his exploits. Kid had sent a message to Abilene where Amanda and Teaspoon's saloon was located, hoping Amanda O'Connell had seen their infamous friend. Cody, on the other hand, was easy to keep track of. The flamboyant cowboy attracted attention wherever he went. Lou knew Rachel and Emma's addresses for she corresponded with the two older women regularly. It was Buck who proved to be elusive. After he left, they never heard from him again. They heard and read reports the Kiowa were forced into reservations but all the messages they sent to those wretched places came back. The only proof Lou and Kid had that their Indian friend was alive were the small, unique toys Buck sent James every Christmas.

Kid was leaving the telegraph office when the mayor hailed him.

Kid's instinct was to pretend he hadn't heard the older man. He had a feeling he knew what the mayor wanted. But seeing as how the mayor was right across a relatively narrow street from him, Kid didn't think he could carry out the pretense.

"Good day, Mr. Jenkins."

The mayor waited for a buckboard to pass before he crossed to Kid's side. "I need to talk to you."

Kid looked around and spotted the saloon. "You want to go in there?"

"Much to noisy. Somewhere where we could talk ... in private."

Again, Kid looked around and this time he saw Barnett outside the marshal's office. "How about the jail?"

With a smile, the mayor indicated his approval. "Perfect." As they walked toward the office, the mayor asked after Lou, the children and Teaspoon.

"The family is good, sir. We're quite busy these days. Several of our horses are giving birth."

"And our good friend Mr. Hunter?"

Kid took a deep breath before responding, "Doc doesn't know if he's ever going to wake up."

Perfect opening, the mayor thought to himself as he and the Kid stepped into the marshal's office, nodding to Barnett on the way in. "We'd like to use your office for a while, Hamilton, if that's all right with you."

"Sure," came the reply. Barnett tipped his hat at the newcomers, folded the paper he was reading and walked out the door. The mayor seated himself behind the marshal's table, as Kid settled on a chair nearby.

Jenkins began, "A small property in Rock Creek was hit by the Raiders not three nights ago. Four people were killed. The only survivor was a small child the family hid in a hole underneath the house."

"We heard about that. I'm sorry about what happened, sir. But I don't see how it could have anything to do with me," Kid said rather defensively. "With Teaspoon, yes, because he is the law—"

"Was the law," the mayor interrupted.

"What?"

"We need a new marshal, Kid. You yourself said Teaspoon might not wake up."

Kid abruptly stood up, almost knocking his chair backwards. He crossed to the window, his back to the mayor. With a tilt of his head, he indicated the lawman on the sidewalk. "How about Barnett? He is the deputy."

The mayor narrowed his eyes at Kid. "Son, I hope that was an attempt at humor," the mayor said sternly. "The fact is we need someone who knows the territory, who keeps a cool head under pressure and who is quick with the gun."

"Well, then get Brody or Cole. Garett is pretty handy with— "

"Good men," the mayor cut in, "and you can pick them as your deputies."

"There has to be someone else."

"There's no one, Kid. And we really need you right now. They already hit Rock Creek. We might be next," the mayor said urgently.

"Ask the Army for help."

"The nearest fort is a hundred miles away. And the route is very dangerous."

Kid spun around and walked back to the table. "I'll ride. Bring them the message." The trail was dangerous but he had ridden it a thousand times when he was a rider for the Pony Express. He could sit on Katy blindfolded and they would still find their way.

"The Army has all but given up on catching the Raiders." At Kid's incredulous look, the mayor added, "Oh, they are sending some soldiers. Wet behind the ears. They'll be the first to fall in a gunfight. The fact remains, it's our fight."

Frustration growing, Kid pounded his hand on the table. "I'm a rancher not a gunfighter," he nearly shouted.

The mayor merely lifted an eyebrow. Kid may not make his living with the gun, but the mayor was very much aware how well the young man handled the Colt that's strapped to his thigh.

Kid struggled to maintain his control. He rubbed a hand over his face, as if to wipe away his frustration. With a calmer voice, he tried to provide another reason why he couldn't just go after bandits. "I have a wife and four kids to take care of, as well as a sick friend who needs me."

Jenkins studied the young man. He remembered when Kid was still a rider for the Pony Express and they lived in the bunkhouse on the outskirts of town. He was an associate at the bank then. Though Hickok appeared to be the group's leader, leading the battles with his blazing guns, Jenkins had a feeling it was Kid who pulled the riders together. He hoped Kid would change his mind and help pull this town together.

"I understand what you are saying, Kid. But think about what I said. There might not be a town, a home or a family to take care of if you don't help. If you don't do it for us, do it for Teaspoon."

* * *

ABILENE, KANSAS

James Butler Hickok woke up to a loud pounding inside his head and the insistent buzzing of a bee. Cautiously, he tried to open his eyes to figure out what was going on, but they wouldn't to obey him. After counting from one to 10, Hickok tried to open just one eye. Nothing. Worry gripped him. His growl died on his throat in a croak. He tried to wet his lips with his tongue but that itself became a chore. His tongue felt oversized, gravelly and as dry as the trails of Texas.

Don't panic, he told himself, try opening your eyes one more time. The third attempt proved to be successful. Gingerly moving his head, Hickok noticed he wasn't alone in the bed. There was a woman with him and from what he saw — which was quite a lot — she was naked. He tried to remember her name but drew a blank

Then the pounding came again and Jimmy groaned. It felt like a thousand little men with tiny hammers decided to camp inside his head and build a railroad crisscrossing his skull. He wanted them to go away and even told them so but since he mumbled his order, he didn't think they heard him.

The pounding became louder and it took a while for Hickok to realize it was coming from outside the door, as were the voices he earlier mistook for a bee.

"JIMMY! COME OUT HERE!"

"Ma'am, I cannot allow you to do this. You are disrupting the peace and bother—"

"DISRUPTING THE PEACE?" Jimmy could feel the woman's indignation through the door. "I'll do a lot more than disrupt your peace if you don't get me Jimmy Hickok."

"Miss, I told you, Mr. Hickok left explicit instructions not to be bothered when he retired for the night."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll see me and hear what I have to say," the woman said confidently.

The man was saved from answering when the door opened. Jimmy leaned on the doorway looking disgustingly drunk, half naked, his britches not even fastened. He squinted his eyes to see who had the gall to wake him up.

He should have known.

"Amanda? Why in God's name are you bellowing so early in the morning?"

"It's noon." Amanda's voice dripped with annoyance. She pushed Jimmy inside his room, shutting the door on the face of the hotel owner. She threw a careless glance at the sleeping woman before marching toward the dresser. Amanda was ready to give the younger man hell but she figured he wouldn't understand her in his inebriated state. Better wait until he could fully appreciate her lecture. Walking past Hickok, Amanda picked up his saddlebag and the shirt that was carelessly thrown on the floor. "Here," she said, all but throwing the items at Jimmy. "I'm taking you home."

* * *

Amanda silently watched from across her dining room table as Jimmy drank another cup of coffee. She wasn't going to stop giving him the bitter brew until she was sure she had all the whiskey flushed out of his system. She didn't want to admit it, but she felt maternal toward Jimmy, though only a few years separated them in age. It probably has something to do with Jimmy's bond with Amanda O'Conell's "father," Teaspoon. Amanda remembered when she first met the hot-tempered young man in Sweetwater. Even then Jimmy already had a reputation as a fearsome gunfighter.

"Trying to save me, Amanda?"

A snort was the response. "Hell no. Why would I want to do that. I can't save myself let alone somebody else," she said, her lips curving in a wry smile. She stood up to fetch more coffee but Hickok caught her hand, shaking his head.

"Before you drown me, you'd better tell me why you dragged me out of my room."

Amanda pulled out a telegram from her skirt pocket and handed it to Jimmy. "This came yesterday. I'm pretty sure Kid sent you one, too."

"From the Kid?" Jimmy tore the envelope so quickly he almost ripped the letter, too. Amanda watched as a multitude of emotions flashed in Jimmy's eyes as he quickly scanned the missive.

"They've started to call everybody — you, me, Cody. Even Emma and Sam," she said, her voice growing husky with unshed tears. "If you leave now, you could be in Sweetwater in less than a week."

She didn't add, _maybe Teaspoon will still be alive when you get there_.

Jimmy stood up, already reaching for his hat. "What about you?"

"I'll follow as quickly as I can."

A cacophony of noise and smell assaulted Jimmy's senses as he stepped into the saloon. Men of various shapes and size, attitude and temperament filled the smoky hall. Many were gathered around the gaming tables, others around the luscious girls. A couple of greenhorns began chattering excitedly as soon as Hickok walked in, but most of the regulars knew Jimmy and, except for a nod here and there, generally ignored him. After greeting the bartender, Jimmy walked up the stairs to the room he kept for himself. He always stayed in the same room during his visits to Abilene, although he had a standing invitation from Amanda for him to stay at her place. Jimmy never accepted the invitation, preferring to establish a place of his own, although it was just a dank and musty hotel room. He adored Amanda — she was like a sister — but a young man like him needed a place where he could live his life.

When Jimmy entered his room, though, independence was the farthest thing from his mind.

HE WAS BEING CALLED HOME!

The thought filled him with dread and elation, the same feeling he got every time he received a letter from Lou and the Kid asking him to come and visit with them. He badly wanted to say yes, but always ended up making excuses. He knew it was taking the coward's way out — laying the blame for his absence on situations, people, hell, even the weather. But he couldn't go home. It would feel too much like that story Teaspoon used to read from the Bible — the prodigal son.

Jimmy tossed his hat on the bed, then crossed to the dresser on the other side of the room. After pulling out the bottom shelf, he slid his hand under one of his shirts until he felt the familiar coldness of a bottle. Wrapping his slender hands on the neck, he pulled the brandy out from its hiding place. The amber liquid swirled inside the bottle, tantalizing Jimmy with the promise of heat and comfort. He succumbed to that call and poured himself a healthy dose before settling himself on a chair. Methodically, he drank glass after glass of the fiery liquid, hoping to numb his senses so he won't have to think of his imminent return to his "family."

The brandy proved to be traitorous, though. As the alcohol worked to deaden his senses, Jimmy found himself unable to stop remembering the last time he saw Teaspoon.

Bitter and disillusioned after Noah's death, he had began to seriously think of going back to Kansas and joining the abolitionists. He had suspected the other riders thought he was doing so only to be with Rosemarie.

But it wasn't just that at all.

He had firmly believed in what he fought for then, an individual's right to freedom. No man had a right to take possession of another man. Teaspoon and the Kid had assured him they believed in the same thing. However, the issue of slavery was only one of many that fueled the war. Despite their protests and vows of eternal friendships, Teaspoon, Kid and Jimmy had found themselves standing on opposite sides. In joining the abolitionists, Jimmy had irrevocably aligned himself with the North.

Kid had been furious but he also understood Jimmy's need to fight for what is right. In the end, they had bidden each other goodbye and good luck.

Teaspoon had been another matter. He had uttered no words but his demeanor spoke of the bitter fury raging inside him. He didn't break his silence, not even on the day Jimmy rode way from the station house for the last time.

Jimmy pressed the glass against his lips and tossed his head, feeling the liquid burn his throat and settle into the pit of his stomach. It did nothing to vanquish the pain in his heart as he recalled Teaspoon's stoic expression as he bid him farewell. The memory had Jimmy's hands tightening on the telegram Kid sent.

_"Come home. Teaspoon is badly hurt. He needs you."_

It was an invitation he couldn't refuse.


	4. Chapter 3

Jimmy whistled softly as he entered the town of Sweetwater. Buildings as tall as four stories loomed over him. He counted three bakeries, a telegram office, two banks, numerous stores, including a couple of fancy dress shops. He spotted Teaspoon's old deputy sitting on a chair in front of a building. Barnett must have recognized him for he got a friendly wave. He waved back but didn't stop. Jimmy didn't need the rather rickety sign to tell him that was the jail — though the stone structure wasn't built when he rode with the Pony Express — the bars on the windows identified the place for him.

Humor tugged at the corners of his mouth as he saw two cathouses right across the road from each other, scantily clad women lounging on the balcony. They whistled at the men on the street below, alternately flattering or insulting them — whatever worked — into visiting their establishment, and not the competition.

"Hey, handsome, you look like you need some lovin'."

Whatever Jimmy's answer would have been, he never got it out. A body came flying out of a saloon door, landing right in front of his horse. Jimmy jerked at the palomino's reins, stopping the horse from imprinting its hoof on the man's face. The cowboy, oblivious to his near-trampling, stood up, shook himself and dove right back inside the saloon.

Shaking his head, Jimmy nudged his horse back into a walk. He tried to search for familiar faces but only strangers stared back, strangers with curious, questioning looks. Growing uncomfortable under the townsfolk's scrutiny, Jimmy spurred his horse toward the plains where the Pony Express station was once housed.

* * *

"Hey, Lou."

Lou started at the softly spoken words, nearly dropping the trowel she was using to loosen the soil in her small patch of a vegetable garden. Slowly, she stood up and turned around until she came face to face with the speaker. She shielded her eyes from the sun's blinding glare for the man was standing against the light. A long black overcoat hung over his broad shoulders, his hands buried deep inside the pockets. The brim of his hat obscured his face. He had long hair that hung past his shoulders.

There was something familiar about his manner, his stance.

Then the man lifted his head.

"Jimmy," she breathed. Extending a hand, Lou brushed the angular panes of his cheeks with light fingers, almost unbelieving that he actually came. Then her face broke into a wide smile. "Jimmy!" Loud, joyful and welcoming.

It was everything Jimmy hoped for. He wrapped his arms around her waist and swung her 'round and 'round, laughing, almost crying.

Finally, he put her down but kept his arms around her. His gaze roamed her face, the face of the woman he'd secretly loved since they were young riders with the Pony Express. Happiness shone in that face, and it made her even more beautiful in his eyes. Earlier, he'd noticed childbirth had given her the curves she had dreamt of. Her hair, cropped short during her years as a rider for the Pony Express, now hung in a braid down her back. Though she was still wearing a man's shirt — it looked like an old one of Kid's — one thing was certain: No man in his right mind would mistake Lou for a man ever again.

Jimmy swallowed to get rid of the lump in his throat. "You are beautiful," he whispered with a smile.

"That's sweet, Jimmy."

Both turned when they heard something behind them move.

"Mama?" a small voice called out hesitantly.

Jimmy released Lou from his embrace just in time to see a handsome young boy with russet-colored hair and a stubborn tilt to his chin. God, he's like a miniature Kid, Jimmy thought, right down to the suspicious glare in his eyes. He almost laughed.

Lou held out her hand to her son, "Come here and meet a friend."

The boy approached, his eyes never leaving the man in black.

Lou lovingly rumpled the little boy's hair. "James, say hello to your Uncle Jimmy. He sent you that wonderful train set for Christmas, remember?"

The little boy's eyes lit up as he made the connection between his favorite toy and the man his mother called "Uncle Jimmy." His frown gave way to a dazzling smile that made Jimmy's heart ache. Right then, James looked like his mother.

"Hi," James said brightly, then promptly ran toward the house.

Amused, Jimmy shot a questioning look at Lou, who merely shrugged.

Jimmy looked back at the house, his thoughts turning from a little boy to an old man.

"How's Teaspoon? I rode here as fast as I could."

"Bad. He's getting weaker every day."

"What happened?"

"He was shot going after a gang called the Black Raiders—"

"I've heard of them," Jimmy cut in.

"Who hasn't? They've been spreading terror for months now." Lou began putting away her gardening tools in a wooden box as she spoke. "Teaspoon and Marshall O'Reilley caught up with some of them somewhere in Mill Creek." She took off her work gloves, lightly slapping them against her thigh to knock off the dirt. "Many of the Raiders died, but the law paid a huge price."

Lou sighed deeply. "I'm not sure if Teaspoon is lucky or not to survive that."

"How bad is it?"

Lou began walking toward the house. Jimmy fell in stride with her. "He was shot several times. Shoulder, thigh. Nearly lost his arm. But Doc is more worried over the head wound."

Lou opened the door — and caught a small body against hers. It was James, holding a toy train car in one hand. He'd wanted to show it to his Uncle Jimmy.

"What did I tell you about running inside the house?"

"Don't?"

Lou nodded. "Now, go and find your Pa. Tell him we've got a guest for dinner." She dropped a quick kiss on his head, then sending him off with a slight push.

"How's that husband of yours?"

Something flickered in Lou's eyes, but it was gone before Jimmy could identify it. "He's good. He's ... good."

"What is it, Lou?"

The worry, frustrations and fear of the last several days threatened to burst forth. Lou desperately wanted to ask for help regarding Kid's nightmares. But she also understood her husband was a proud man, and Jimmy Hickok is the last person in the world he'd want to be aware of his weakness. So Lou shook her head. "We've all just been under terrible strain."

"But—"

Lou looked at him, her eyes pleading silently. So Jimmy let it go. For now.

* * *

"Papa, papa..."

Several ranch hands looked up just in time to see James burst into the barn. "Whoa, whoa." Paul, the elderly foreman, caught the little boy before he stepped on a cow pie. "What's the rush, James?"

"Uncle Jimmy is here!" James all but shouted his announcement. The effect was immediate. Some of the ranch hands, understanding Lou and Kid's "Jimmy" was no other than "Wild Bill" Hickok, rushed to the door for a peek at the famous gunslinger. But he'd already gone inside the house.

Paul rolled his eyes at the younger men, all hopped up to see a gunfighter. He turned his attention back to James. "Well, your father rode out just a while ago to check something. Jeremiah's with him. So tell your Ma he might be a tad late for supper, all right?"

James nodded, then scampered toward the house.

The foreman joined his men at the barn's door, watching as a golden palomino was led by a ranch hand inside. Something's bound to happen soon, Paul thought. He just didn't know whether he looked forward ot it, or dreaded it.

* * *

Jimmy watched as Lou opened the door to Teaspoon's room and quietly stepped in. His friend placed the bowl of soup on the bedside table before going around the bed and picking up a small towel from the small stack on top of the dresser. After pouring some water into the basin, Lou wet the cloth and brought it with her to the bed. Sitting on the edge, she began unwrapping the bandage around Teaspoon's head.

"The doctor said the wound would heal much faster if it is uncovered, but to wait until it has closed before taking the bandage off," Lou told Jimmy without taking her eyes off Teaspoon.

From where he was standing, Jimmy could see if the bullet had moved an inch more to the left, it would have blasted Teaspoon's temple instead of merely grazing it. Jimmy shuddered at the thought.

"Teaspoon took a bullet on his upper thigh. It went through a fleshy part so it ain't as big a problem," Lou said as she stood up to get the bowl of soup she'd brought with her. After placing another towel around Teaspoon's neck, she carefully began spooning the broth into the older man's lips. "It's the wound on his head that's worrying us. At first, Doc said he should be fine. It was just a graze, you know. But Teaspoon hasn't woken up yet since that night."

"Your doctor is a quack," Jimmy said through gritted teeth. "Why don't you get another opinion?"

"Can't. Doc's the only one in town. He's the only one in three towns. A specialist from New York was supposed to join him out here, a nephew or something. But his stagecoach was attacked, and well ..."

Jimmy slowly sat on the other side of the bed. He wanted to touch Teaspoon, hold his hand, say he was sorry — ask for forgiveness.

Lou, sensing Jimmy's inner turmoil, stood up. "Why don't I leave you with him for a while. Come out when you're ready."

He didn't even notice her leave.

* * *

Jimmy was cooing at Mary Lou when Kid entered the house. Jimmy had dispensed of his great overcoat and it was a surprise to see what was underneath. His days away from the Pony Express had given the young gunfighter a worldly look, a sophistication he certainly didn't have when he was pounding the trails in the employ of Russell, Majors and Waddell. Dressed in white shirt with a silver brocade vest topping it and black pants, James Butler Hickok was the epitome of Western elegance.

"So, you finally met our youngest?"

Jimmy turned around to see his best friend leaning on the doorway. The smile on his face brightened. "Yep, and you're very lucky she took after Lou."

"And I say that every day myself." Laughing, Kid watched as Jimmy passed the baby to Teresa and then turn around to walk to him with open arms. They hugged, long and solidly. The embrace was as welcoming as it was friendship-affirming. "Good to see yah again, Kid."

"You, too, Jimmy." Kid released Jimmy and looked him up and down. "Glad to see ya'll still in one piece."

"I'm happy about that, too," Jimmy said with a wink.

"Well, you two better wash up. Dinner is almost ready." Lou watched from the sidelines, not wanting to intrude on the two men's reunion. Though Kid and Jimmy almost always stood on opposite sides of any issue during their days with the Pony Express, no one could deny the bond between them.

"You cook, Lou?" Jimmy asked in mock surprise. Lou merely rolled her eyes at him as she headed into the kitchen

"Took her years to learn," Kid said in a mock whisper. "Good thing me and the ranch hands have cast-iron stomachs."

Jimmy laughed as Lou shouted, "I heard that," from the kitchen.

The kitchen door opened and Jimmy looked up to see a lanky young man bearing a huge bowl of stew staring at him with interest. "Hello there."

Jeremiah nodded his head in greeting, "Mister."

"Do you remember him, Jeremiah?" Kid asked.

The boy smiled. "You and the other guys helped when Lou came to take us back to the orphanage," he told Jimmy.

Realization dawning, Jimmy looked at Kid for confirmation. "Lou's brother?" He got a nod. "Well, son, hopefully you'll see the other guys, too, in the next few days."

Turning to Kid, "Have you heard from the others?"

Kid shook his head. "I sent a telegram to Cody but it seems he is in New York so it might take him awhile to get here. Buck. ... I don't know where he is or what he is doing. He got a message from Red Bear several years back. After that, we never saw him again." Kid rubbed his face. "We know he's alive, though."

"How do—"

The sound of a bell ringing interrupted Jimmy, and the words "riders coming!" soon rang out, too.


	5. Chapter 4

"It's Buck," Lou breathed, almost in disbelief. "It's Buck!" Lou ran out and launched herself at Buck. He caught her in mid-air, both laughing. Kid and Jimmy followed and there was a lot of hugging, back slapping and shoulder punching.

As Paul and some of the ranch hands who'd known Buck joined in the enthusiastic welcome, Jimmy stepped back. There was a moment earlier when he almost didn't recognize the man being enthusiastically welcomed as his friend. The Kiowa wasn't wearing a hat and his hair, which he'd always worn long even as a rider for the Pony Express, now fell to his waist. Some of the locks were arranged in braids, colorful feathers standing out against the ebony background. Buck wore a vest, but with no shirt underneath; his buckskin pants were tucked into moccasin-like boots. Though Running Buck Cross, the last name courtesy of a white father, never hid his heritage, he never openly drew attention to his Kiowa heritage either.

Jimmy's eyes dropped to the knife that was strapped like a gun to Buck's left thigh and wondered what prompted his friend to move the weapon that was usually tucked in his left boot. A gun hung low on Buck's right thigh and Jimmy wondered when Buck learned to shoot right-handed, for he knew his friend favored his left.

But the difference in Buck's appearance was nothing to the not-so-subtle change in his demeanor. He seemed leaner, taller, more imposing — more dangerous. Gone was the calming presence. There was an air of alertness and wariness about him now that hadn't been there when they were all riders together. Though raised as a warrior by the Kiowas, Buck had always had an amiable and gentle nature. Cody had called him the group's peacemaker. This Buck looked like he'd long forgotten what peace is.

Jimmy threw a quick glance at the Kid to see if he had also noticed the changes in Buck. Kid's thoughtful look told Jimmy his friend was also taking in Buck's transformation. Jimmy's musings were interrupted when Buck addressed him

"Nice to see you're all in one piece," Buck said, his mouth twisting in a wry smile.

"Why does everybody say that?" Hickok asked no one in particular as Kid chuckled.

"Thank God, you got the letter we sent." This from Lou.

"I didn't get a letter."

Lou frowned, puzzled. "Then, how did—?"

"The spirits told me," Buck answered gently.

His friends smiled as they remembered what Buck's spirits did to an unbelieving Cody. Years ago, Cody played a prank on the Kiowa, replacing the contents of Buck's medicine pouch with sand. He paid quite a price as he got trampled by a horse and hit by lightning soon after. No one questioned Buck's spirits after that.

"Did these spirits happen to mention if they thought Teaspoon has a chance to pull through?" Jimmy asked, only half-joking.

"No, but we can ask," Buck replied, not joking at all. He motioned for Lou to go back inside the house, leaving Kid and Jimmy looking at each other wondering just what they friend meant.

* * *

Jimmy rubbed his belly as he stepped out onto the porch, the clatter of plates being stacked and spoons and forks being gathered followed him before he closed door. Lou had shooed everyone but Jeremiah and Teresa out of the dining room, dismissing offers of help. Kid rounded up the children and got them ready for their bedtime baths, while Buck headed back into Teaspoon's room. The Kiowa had sat with the older man earlier, stroking his forehead and mumbling something Jimmy couldn't quite make out. After, Teaspoon looked more peaceful, if that was even possible for someone who was unconscious. 

Jimmy had wanted to ride out as soon as Buck was rested, but Lou insisted tomorrow would be soon enough to start looking for the men who hurt Teaspoon. Tonight, they would enjoy the company of each other. So he settled himself on the swing and savored the satisfaction of eating a home-cooked meal. Lou's cooking sure has improved. That pot roast was almost as good as the one Rachel used to serve, Jimmy thought.

Rachel Dunne.

Jimmy smiled as he remembered the news Lou shared with him and Buck over dinner. Seems like Rachel was no longer going under the name Dunne. It's Mrs. Staulder now for the former housemother of the Pony Express riders. Apparently, Rachel never forgot the charms of the Russell, Majors and Waddell agent who stayed with them for a while.

To hear Lou say it, Rachel and Mike Staulder's reunion and subsequent marriage was the most romantic ever, but Jimmy saw enough of himself in Mike to know he won't be settle down so easily. But then Rachel is woman enough to handle a wild one like Mike, Jimmy told himself. Wasn't she responsible for straightening out the rowdy riders?

Jimmy was jolted from his musings by the sudden realization he wasn't alone. His hand dropped to one of his guns before he recognized the intruder.

"Buck, you know better than to sneak up on me. I could have killed you."

Buck snorted, as if to say Jimmy could have tried — but he would have failed. Out loud, he said, "Sorry," though his smile was unapologetic. He sat next to Jimmy on the swing and casually stretched his long legs on the railing.

Jimmy sighed and settled once more on his side of the swing.

For a long time, the two friends sat on the swing in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. They realized they had been sitting outside for a while when they saw the ranch hands change shifts. After the last attack in Rock Creek, Kid armed most of the capable ranch hands and set them on three-hour guard duty from dusk till dawn. He and Paul usually joined them for a spell.

"Kid and Lou have done good here, huh. It looks like a nice spread."

"Did anybody show you around?"

Jimmy shook his head. "Been a little busy, if you've noticed."

Buck stood up, took one of the lamps from a post and motioned for Jimmy to follow him.

"Where are we going?"

"Don't you want to see the ranch?"

"Well, yeah, but can't we do it tomorrow when we're not stumbling around in the dark? We're bound to get ourselves shot by Kid's men."

"You, maybe. I doubt they'd shoot me, though."

"Hey!"

"Besides," Buck continued, interrupting Jimmy's incredulous reaction, "Everybody is busy during the day. We'll just be in the way."

As they passed the original bunkhouse, Jimmy noticed it had been added on to. It was also painted and cleaned so now it looked like a decent bungalow.

"You met Paul, right? The foreman? He and his wife and children live there. Got a daughter and two teenage sons."

Buck waved Paul back to his rocking chair on the porch as the elderly foreman prepared to approach them. "We'll just have a look-see, Paul," Buck said.

"Very good, Mr. Buck," Paul nodded. He gave Jimmy a wary nod of greeting.

Buck smiled at the older man. "Tell Rose I'll come visit with her tomorrow."

"Oh, she'd like that. Heavens, she'll have me shooting rabbits for your favorite stew then."

Buck laughed as he waved Paul good night.

"They seem like nice people."

"They are. I don't think we could have survived without them during those early years," Buck said, his lips curving in a half-smile as he remembered the first year working on the ranch. "You're in for a treat tomorrow. Rose's rabbit stew has won prizes all over the county."

"Wasn't exactly invited." There was a hint of jealousy in Jimmy's voice.

Buck laughed and clapped his friend's back, "Give them time. We're simple folks here. It's not every day we get to entertain the King of the Hill."

Jimmy's eyes widened when they turned a corner and he finally saw the ranch's spread. Two massive barns stood like vanguards of the plains. Some of the ranch hands who'd been chatting outside rushed to open heavy wooden doors, tipping their hats as the two men passed. As Jimmy walked in, he noticed a couple dozen horses housed comfortably in clean stalls. He petted some of the horses, softly laughing as some of them nudged his pockets looking for treats. Buck also showed him the well-equipped tack room and the impressively stocked feed shed. As they came out of the barn farthest from the house, Jimmy saw a little white cottage with blue shutters.

"Welcome to my humble home," Buck said as he fished the key from his pocket.

"Wait, you live out here?" Jimmy followed Buck inside and looked around the small room. He couldn't see much; the lamp they brought didn't provide a lot of light. Jimmy nearly jumped when he felt something crawl on his neck. He tried to brush whatever it was away, but got nothing.

Buck set down the lamp and lit a couple more. Jimmy looked up to see what seemed like odd-colored wood shaped into tiny fishes suspended from strings attached to the ceiling. Curious, Jimmy took one in his hands and turned it over. It was obviously carved by inexperienced hands.

"Paul's kids made those for me," Buck said, answering Jimmy's unspoken query. "They said the house needed decoration."

"Must be nice to be so loved," Jimmy mumbled under his breath.

If Buck heard his friend's comment, he ignored it, choosing instead to light the stove and put on a pot of hot water for coffee. "Kid helped me build this. I didn't want to stay in the house, them being newlyweds at that time," Buck said, smiling mischievously.

Jimmy let out a snort of laughter, "Didn't want to barge in on their dancing, huh?"

"Figured it was safer this way."

Now that there was enough light Jimmy could see the room — for that was all it really was — was sparsely furnished; a table and two chairs close to the hearth, a bed on one corner with a trunk beside it, presumably for clothes. There was a small bookcase opposite the bed and a dresser with a hazy mirror. The place was recently cleaned; the bedclothes, pillows and blankets newly washed. Colorful vases of flowers were placed on the table and the dresser. Lou's idea, Jimmy thought. The same arrangements were found all over the main house. The room was pretty, Jimmy admitted, but it no way came near to his idea of a decent living.

"Had no idea they were cheapskates."

"Who? What?"

"Didn't they pay you enough?"

Buck frowned. "Kid and Lou?"

"Yeah, Kid and Lou," Jimmy said, exasperated. "Didn't they pay you enough so you could build or buy an actual house?"

Buck let out a deep sigh and shook his head at his friend. "Not everyone goes for fancy houses. This is more than enough for me."

"You barely have enough room to cook."

"Why would I want to cook?" Buck asked, genuinely puzzled. "Dinner was always at the main house and if I wanted something different, I joined the hands. Rose is a really good cook."

"Well, what if you wanted to ... you know ..."

Buck raised an eyebrow. Jimmy's obvious frustration on his behalf was kind of funny.

"What if you wanted to bring a woman home."

Buck indicated the bed with his head.

Jimmy rolled his eyes. The tiny house obviously didn't bother Buck, but it bothered _him_. He was also very curious to find out how much Kid and Lou gave Buck, who worked for them for four years. Jimmy didn't want to delve too much into his reasons for asking. It wasn't as if he was interested in finding work, he told himself.

"So, how much do they pay? You probably got more than the other men here."

Buck smiled. "Enough."

"How much is enough?

"Definitely better than what we got as riders."

"Anything's better than what we got as riders. We were paid twenty-five dollars a week." Jimmy bobbed his eyebrows in a comic attempt to get Buck to spill. "So, double that? Two hundred a month?"

Before Buck could respond, they were interrupted by the door opening.

"Two hundred what?" Kid stepped in, carrying a lamp of his own.

"Uh, nothing." It was a fun game when it was just him and Buck, but Jimmy had no intention of actually asking Kid how much he paid his employees. "Where's Lou?"

"She's tucking in James and Marylou." Kid gave Jimmy a puzzled glance before looking at Buck for an explanation.

Buck gave Jimmy a sly smile. "Jimmy here was asking how much you paid me for work at the ranch?"

"Oh." Kid nodded. "Well, Buck didn't really get paid like the rest of the hands."

"What?!" Jimmy barked incredulously, looking at Buck, then at Kid.

"Yeah, he gets a share of what we earn when we sell a horse. You see, Buck owns a third of K&L."


	6. Chapter 5

Jimmy stared at his two friends. "A third of the ranch," he repeated. There was admiration in his voice, and more than a little envy. "I got to tell you, boys, you've done good here. You've really done good," he said as he took out a cheroot from a silver case and struck a match to light it. He offered a couple of the slim cigars to his friends, who both declined. Shrugging, he put them back in the case and in his pocket.

"We didn't think we'd make it work at first, though." Buck's eyes softened as he remembered the day he arrived in Sweetwater and found Lou and Kid hard at work at rebuilding everything. The house was barely livable, the bunkhouse was burned down, the original barn was missing three walls and the fence around the corral was splintered. During the first several weeks, they camped in the clearing between the house and the bunkhouse. Day and night, they worked on the house. When the money for building materials ran out, he and Kid hired on for some odd jobs in town, while Lou tried to find a job as a seamstress. Buck chuckled at the memory of Lou's disastrous first day and only day at work.

"What?" Jimmy nudged Buck's boot with his foot, prompting him to share the recollection.

"I was thinking of the time Lou tried to become a seamstress," Buck smiled at Jimmy's lifted brow. "Kid, do you remember what happened to Mrs. Jenkins dress?"

Kid's face clouded at the mention of Mrs. Jenkins, the memory of his conversation with the mayor several days ago flashing in his mind. He forced the incident out of his mind, but not before one of his friends noticed the dark look. "Lou got the measurements all wrong and sewed the buttons close. She stuck to horses after that."

Jimmy laughed dutifully at the account, but his mind was still on the troubled look he saw on Kid's face. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear the question Kid directed at him. "What?"

"I asked what you've been doing for the past six years?"

Jimmy shrugged, "This and that."

"Care to elaborate?"

Jimmy nearly laughed, but he knew it would come out bitterly. "All I can say is that I can't complain."

"Living the high life, huh?"

"Give me whiskey, cards and women anytime."

Buck started to smile at Jimmy's deceptively careless response, when Kid turned the tables on him. "How about you, Buck? What happened these last two years?

All traces of mirth wiped from his face, Buck held Kid's gaze for a long time. How was he going to tell his story? Where would he begin? Where would he stop? What would they say?

Only one way to find out.

"Red Bear is dead," Buck said quietly.

The steam from the kettle began rattling the lid, breaking the silence that descended following Buck's statement. Buck stood up to make coffee. He needed to do something, to divert his attention from the memories that threatened to swallow him whole. Red Bear was the only member of Buck's tribe who acknowledged him after his mother died, the only one who really loved him. His death meant whatever remaining connection Buck had with the Kiowa was now permanently severed.

"I'm so sorry, Buck," Kid said. "I know how much he means to you."

Buck exhaled, slowly releasing his pent-up emotions and for the first time since his brother's death allowed himself to feel the hurt, the anger, the frustration — the guilt.

"I keep thinking I could have done something. That I could have saved him."

Maybe it was his own guilt over what happened to Teaspoon that made Kid recognize the burden Buck was carrying. He moved to take the coffee canister out of Buck's hand and motioned for his friend to sit. "Why don't you start when you left the ranch?" Kid finished making coffee then handed Buck a steaming mug of the bitter brew. He gave another to Jimmy and kept one for himself.

Buck cupped his hands around the mug, trying to draw heat from it. With eyes staring blindly at the lamp, he began his story. The tribe had been moved to a reservation camp during the war. The chiefs were told by the Army that they could go back to their land as soon as it was safe to do so. But the war ended and the Army still refused to let them go. The Kiowa tried to leave once but where promptly herded back like cattle. Red Bear tried to speak to the territorial governor but he couldn't even leave the camp. Ignoring the other war chiefs' objections, Red Bear called for his half-brother.

"He hoped I could talk to the governor because I was half-white. But of course, the Army didn't see that," Buck said, bitterness creeping into his voice. "They only saw a dumb Injun."

"Why didn't you ask for Teaspoon's help? He knew Corliss Phelan," Jimmy interrupted.

"I did ask and Teaspoon tried, but Phelan insisted he couldn't do anything, that the orders came from Washington."

Kid put in, "It was happening all over the country. All the Indian tribes were being hauled off into reservations."

"Many of the warriors escaped but I stayed behind with Red Bear. He was hurt during a fight with an officer and was very weak." Buck let out a mirthless laugh. "Even though the camp was essentially a prison, it was good being with my brother again."

"Then one day last year, we were suddenly attacked by the soldiers who were supposed to protect us."

"Why?" Jimmy pressed.

Buck dragged his hand across his face, as if trying to erase the painful memories of his brother's death. "I don't know. No one was left to ask."

"Then how—?" Unable to finish his question, Jimmy simply shook his head.

"How did I survive?" Buck asked, his lips curling in a derisive smile. "Red Bear ordered me and another warrior to keep the women and children safe. We rode out of that camp like bats out of hell ... while the others died."

Kid, understanding how guilt could eat at a person's soul, tried to console his friend, "You did what you have to, Buck. Ain't no one blaming you here." Least of all me, he continued wordlessly.

* * *

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead." 

A curtain was pulled back and the morning sun seared Jimmy's eyelids. He scrunched his face and burrowed under the blanket to avoid the light, but Lou abruptly pulled the blanket off him. After several seconds of tug of war, Jimmy finally gave up the blanket and any attempts to return to sleep. He cautiously opened one eye to find a curious pair peering closely into his own. Pulling back, he saw James looking at him as if he was a snake coiled on top of a rock. Jimmy found the mixture of inquisitiveness and bravado quite funny but his chuckle turned into a groan when another shaft of bright light hit him squarely in the face.

"Jamie, sweetheart, tell Auntie Rose Uncle Jimmy will be ready for lunch soon," Lou said. When the boy didn't budge and continued to stare at Jimmy, she gently shoved him toward the door.

"What time is it?" Jimmy asked, confused.

"It's almost noon." Lou began gathering the soiled clothes Jimmy had carelessly dropped on the floor when he staggered in during the wee hours of the morning. "Everybody has been up for hours."

"Kid and Buck?"

"Kid went to town with Paul to get supplies. Buck and the other men are out on the corral trying to tame a new horse."

Jimmy let out a huge yawn as he swung his legs onto the floor. "Don't they sleep? It was almost morning when we got out of Buck's house."

Lou chuckled, "There was a time when we rose at the crack of dawn no matter what time we slept the night before."

"Yeah, the good old days," Jimmy said. A ghost of a smile lifted the corners of his lips. "We had a great time, didn't we?"

"The best," Lou answered, her smile mirroring Jimmy's as she remembered the hard days of riding for the Express, the joy of finding a family among a group of orphans, the fights, the friendship, the love ...

... the kiss. Jimmy felt heat rise up his cheeks as he remembered that one night so many years ago when he and Lou shared a tender, sweet and, for him, soul-shattering kiss. He wondered if Lou ever thought about that night or if she ever told Kid about it. Jimmy realized Lou was looking at him strangely and he struggled to cover his lapse. "If only Noah and Ike were still here."

"Sometimes I think they actually are," Lou smiled tenderly.

Jimmy's jaw hardened as he remembered that one member of the family was in mortal danger.

"We can't lose, Teaspoon."

Lou looked him straight in the eye. "We're not planning to."

For some reason he didn't dare think about those simple words calmed the tempest in Jimmy's soul. Teaspoon will be all right. He believed that. Because Lou said so? He didn't know. Seeing her again after all this time, more beautiful than ever, had reawakened a maelstrom of feelings he thought he had vanquished. Acting on pure impulse, Jimmy drew Lou to him. "God, I've missed you!"

"Is this a private celebration or can I join?"

Jimmy turned to see Kid standing at the door of the guest room.

At that moment, all Jimmy wanted was for the Earth to swallow him where he stood. His experiences with Kid in situations such as this haven't always been good ones — and that's putting it very mildly. He didn't think wedding rings and six years of marriage changed Kid's disposition toward his attentions to Lou. Slowly, unobtrusively, Jimmy tried to remove his arms around Lou's waist, but it wasn't easy to get out of the embrace when Lou's arms were still around his neck.

So consumed was Jimmy in his remorse that he missed Kid flashing a grin before wrapping them both in a bear hug. Kid's laughter and Lou's giggles rose and mingled with Jimmy's sputters. No one knew who started the tickling, but soon after, the three of them were collapsing on the floor and going half-heartedly after each other. Somebody snagged a pillow from the bed and before long, Kid, Jimmy and Lou were engaged in a riotous pillow fight.

Buck walked in on the laughing trio and promptly walked out again, shaking his head at the childish antics of his friends. He stopped in mid stride, however. The laughter was infectious. And God knows he needed a good one. "What the hell," Buck mumbled as he retraced his steps and entered the room. He grabbed another pillow from the bed and joined the happy melee.

It was the first time any of them laughed, really laughed in a very long time. The first time they felt free from the burdens they all carried. For a few moments, everything was fine in the world. Teaspoon was alive and well. They'd never heard of the Black Raiders. And Buck's tribe was safe.

They were still on the floor, rolling on their sides and laughing when Rose found them. The older woman frowned at the group but the twinkle in her eyes said she was glad to see Kid and Lou happy and laughing for a change.

"A buckboard has been spotted around the curve. Figured you might want to see whoever is coming," she said. "Cause they are rolling like the devil is after them."

* * *

Louisa surreptitiously fixed her bonnet, which came off during Cody's mad drive toward the ranch. She didn't know whether it was the wind or the bumps that knocked her hat from her head. She knew she looked disheveled, which was not the way she wanted to meet Cody's family. 

She watched with a twinge of envy as her husband jumped down from the wagon and enveloped a petite young woman with lovely brown eyes in a bear hug. She knew the woman's name was Lou, short for Louise. Cody said Louise masqueraded as a boy when they rode for the Pony Express. Louisa had a hard time imagining the lovely woman before her as a boy.

After Cody set her down, he turned his attention toward a handsome young man whose welcoming smile included Louisa as well. She heard Cody refer to him as Kid and realized this was the man her husband said had a funny name. He looked very nice and very sweet and Louisa began to feel less of an intruder.

She was distracted from her thoughts when she heard her husband call the next man Jimmy. Louisa suppressed an involuntary shiver as she looked at the fellow and realized she was actually staring at "Wild Bill" Hickok. He does look menacing, Louisa said to herself. She made a mental note not to approach the man without Cody by her side.

The last man Cody greeted was different from everybody — in looks and in manner. He was tall with bronze skin and hair as black as charcoal. He was beautiful: sharp cheekbones, high forehead, piercing black eyes and full lips. Louisa felt herself shudder when she realized those black eyes she was examining so intently were staring back at her. There was pain and anger in them and for a moment Louisa thought it was directed at her.

"Louisa," Cody called out.

Louisa looked up to see everybody looking at her with varying degrees of curiosity and she squirmed underneath the probing gazes. She stood up and held out her hand for Cody to assist her in alighting from the buckboard, but her husband had already turned around, greeting a small boy. Embarrassed, Louisa tried to cover her husband's inattention by picking up her valise, but she was beaten to the task by a pair of small yet surprisingly strong hands.

"Welcome to Sweetwater." Lou smiled warmly at the woman who shared her name.

"It's nice to be here," Louisa heard herself say. Then, she remembered the reason why she and Cody rushed down to Sweetwater. "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean it's nice that your friend was injured. It's just that I've heard of you all and I've looked forward to ... I really wanted to meet you and—"

"Louisa," Cody interrupted in a tone meant to stem his wife's stream of words.

"Sorry," Louisa whispered, feeling small and stupid before her husband's friends.

"Oh, there's no need to apologize." Lou helped Louisa off the buckboard, then threw an irritated glance at Cody that clearly said:_You, however, need to say sorry to me and your wife_. "We're very happy to meet you, too. We saw your likeness in the newspapers."

"Everybody wanted to meet the lady who was actually willing to become Cody's wife," Jimmy pitched in. "You were willing, weren't you?" he added mischievously, earning a jab from Cody.

Louisa smiled shyly and let Lou lead her inside the house. She glanced up as she passed Buck, and his dark expression had her tightening her hold on Lou. Might be best to stay away from that man, she told herself.

Buck watched as everybody entered the house. He deliberately stayed behind, knowing he needed time to regain his composure. Only when the last figure disappeared through the door did Buck relax his clenched fists. He dragged his hand across his face and drew a cleansing breath.

It wasn't the same woman, he told himself. She just had the same coloring. The same porcelain-like complexion, red hair the shade of a pre-dawn sun, eyes so green they reminded him of a shiny leaf. Buck shook off the memory a woman who looked exactly like Cody's wife. the last time he saw her, he was half-dead.

It's not her, he told himself again.

This is Cody's wife.

Not mine.


	7. Chapter 6

"I don't understand. What do you mean there's no marshal?" Jimmy asked Barnett. Hickok rode into town after lunch, eager to join whatever posse was going after the Raiders. But instead of finding someone who could help, Jimmy found himself face to face with the town's longtime deputy. He knew Barnett from his days as a rider, and he knew the man wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Barnett made a face, irritated at Jimmy's incessant questioning. "Like I said, Hickok, no Teaspoon, no marshal," he drawled out slowly, as if talking to a child of no more than 3. "I take care of things for now. But you can talk to the mayor if you like."

Jimmy spun around and nearly slammed into a small, portly man who was standing behind him.

"Excuse me, sir," Jimmy steadied himself and the older man before rushing toward the mayor's office on the other side of the street. He was halfway to his destination when he heard a voice call out.

"If it is the mayor you are looking for, son, you already found him."

Jimmy turned his head to see the man he nearly knocked down waving at him from the sidewalk. Narrowly avoiding being trampled by a carriage and a horse, Jimmy made his way back to the jail.

"Albert Jenkins at your service." A stubby hand took Jimmy's hand in an astonishingly strong grip. "And you are 'Wild Bill' Hickok."

"James Butler Hickok," Jimmy corrected curtly.

Jenkins cleared his throat, "Well then, James Butler Hickok, what can I do for you?"

"Figured you could tell me what's going on around here. Why those bastards who shot Teaspoon are still free." Jimmy shouted the last words for Barnett's benefit. The eavesdropping deputy walked back inside in a huff.

Jenkins eyed Hickok with interest. If he couldn't get the Kid to lead the men, well, Hickok's not a bad substitute. "Son, would you like to have a drink with me? I'd like to talk to you about my efforts to capture these black-hearted villains."

* * *

"Open up, sweetheart, please. Eat this for me." 

Buck strolled into the kitchen and found Lou feeding Marylou — well,_trying_ to feed Marylou — with some mashed potatoes. James was sitting on the floor playing with wooden blocks. He gave Buck a wary smile, which got him a pat on the head.

"Where's everybody?"

"Kid took some horses to Blue Creek while Jimmy rode into town. Cody is somewhere around the ranch," Lou answered without looking up. Marylou was ignoring the food, trying to catch and play with the shiny spoon instead.

"And his wife?"

"Whose wife?" Distracted by the baby, it took a second for Lou to realize who Buck meant. "Oh, probably with him. Why?"

Buck shrugged. He couldn't very well tell Lou he'd rather not be in the same room as Cody's wife. It would just lead to too many questions he'd rather not answer. After picking up an apple from the wooden bowl on the table, he settled himself next to Lou and watched the baby's attempts to evade her food. It was rather funny.

Exasperated, Lou put down the spoon and turned to Buck. She found him staring at her in amusement. She stood up, shoving the bowl of mashed potatoes toward him. "Here, you've had practice with James. I need to check on Teaspoon."

Buck put down his apple and looked at the baby food. It looked rather unappetizing, and he didn't blame Marylou for not wanting any of it. He took a paring knife from the counter and started peeling the apple. Marylou watched his every move, as did James, who had scooted closer to the table. Then Buck got a spoon and began scraping the fruit. When he lifted the spoon to the baby's rosebud lips, she took a little taste before deciding she liked the pulp. Before long, Marylou had eaten most of the apple.

"How did you do that?"

Buck turned around to find an amazed Lou at the doorway. He smiled, "She just wanted something different." He turned his attention back to the baby who was now gurgling happily. "How's Teaspoon?"

"He don't look so pale anymore. Whatever it was you did, it helped. A lot."

Buck shook his head. "Didn't do nothing. It's Teaspoon who ain't giving up. He's fighting."

He shot a quick glance over his shoulder. "Haven't had a chance to sit with you and catch up. How are you and the Kid holding up?"

His question was met by silence — that stretched and stretched until Buck finally looked back at Lou. The tears welling in her eyes had him standing up and crossing to her. "What's wrong?"

Lou shook her head and tried to hide her tears, but they gave way to body-wracking sobs. She didn't quite understand her reaction to Buck's simple question. So many people had asked her the same thing, but she was always able to smile and say everything was fine. Not so with Buck. The friend who had become nearest and dearest to her and Kid's heart. She couldn't lie to him. She didn't think she could even if she wanted to.

Buck gathered Lou in his arms, letting her pour out weeks' worth of worry and fear. As he stroked her hair, he felt someone strike his thigh repeatedly. Buck looked down to find James pounding at him with his little fists. The little boy's lip was trembling and his eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"Uh, Lou," Buck whispered. "James is beating me."

Lou drew back to see her son poised to strike another blow. She wiped her tears with the back of her hands, then scooped him up and settled him on her waist. "Hey, what are you doing? Uncle Buck is our friend, remember?"

James was unconvinced. The tall man made his mama cry. Silently, he pointed at Lou's tear-stained face.

"It's not Uncle Buck's fault." Lou pressed a loving kiss on her son's hair. "Now, you say sorry."

James' eyes still had a mutinous look, but he obeyed his mother.

Buck smiled gently at the little boy. "You're very brave. And you're right to protect your mother. Someday I'll teach you how to do it properly."

After giving her son another kiss, Lou set him down. But he didn't move away from her, not until Lou nudged him toward Marylou. "Play with your sister, James."

She gave Buck a gently pat on the cheek, then started to turn away. But he caught her arm, and gently forced her to look at him. He read the pain and worry in her eyes. "Tell me what's wrong, Lou."

He watched as a multitude of emotions crossed her face. When he began to think she was going to remain silent, she headed to the back door and called for Teresa to come to the house.

"Sweetheart, watch the children. I just need to speak with Buck."

She led Buck to the small room off the living room that she and Kid used as an office. One wall was lined with books, testament to Kid and Lou's passion for reading. As soon as they were seated — she in the chair behind the desk, he on the low windowsill on the other side of the room — the words spilled out, almost in a rush. "It's Kid. He's been acting terribly strange. Been having these nightmares, you see. I asked him what they were about, but he wouldn't say. You know Kid, Buck. Ain't no one getting anything from him till he is good and ready."

"Maybe he's just worried about Teaspoon."

"Yes, of course." Lou nodded.

Buck heard her unspoken words. "But you don't think that's it."

"Well, he started having the nightmares even before Teaspoon got hurt."

"When exactly?"

"When Teaspoon got the letter from Marshal O'Reilley. He woke up screaming that night. Calling for someone named Pete."

"This is the letter asking for help with—"

"The Black Raiders, yes."

Buck took a moment to digest Lou's revelation. To it he added what he knew about his friend. Kid was from Virginia, where the Raiders were said to have begun their reign of terror. Stories about the Raiders spread even before the war. "You think he's crossed paths with the Raiders before? In Virginia?"

Lou nodded slowly.

"I do, too." Buck sighed. "We gotta find out who Pete is."

"How? He closes up like a clam when I try to bring up the subject."

"Well, I can always tackle him, then tie him up."

Lou started to smile, then realized Buck wasn't entirely joking. She considered it a moment before dismissing it. She knew her husband. Backed into a corner, he'll just become even more stubborn and silent. She walked to where Buck was seated and wrapped her arms around him. Just being able to talk about her worries helped ease the pain in her heart. "Thanks, Buck."

"Didn't do anything."

"You listened. And sometimes, that's the most important thing a friend could do."

Buck hugged Lou to him with one arm then dropped a kiss on her hair before releasing her. He moved toward the door when he heard her soft voice.

"Buck, if you want to talk, I can listen, too."

He looked back and saw sympathy in her eyes.

"Kid told you about Red Bear."

"Yes." Her eyes searched his face. She saw pain and anger, understandable with the death of his brother. But there was something else in his eyes she couldn't identify. It chilled her heart. "Buck?"

Buck looked away. He wasn't quite ready to bare his soul.

"I'll tell you. After this is over, I'll tell you. I promise."

And on that solemn vow he closed the door to the small office. He went back to the kitchen where he found Teresa seated on the floor, cradling Marylou as they both watched James try to create a fort with his wooden blocks. The baby smiled as soon as Buck came in, lifting her hands so he would take her. "Hey there," Buck greeted the little girl softly. "Can you say my name yet? Uncle Buck... Bu---ck... Buck..."

Raspberries.

"Guess not. Well, if you are good, I'll tell you about another uncle. His name was Ike."

He settled on a chair, content to watch James play. Being with the children calmed him, allowed him to think. Then he heard the sound of someone running. Seconds later, Lou burst into the kitchen.

"Teaspoon is awake!"

* * *

His eyes felt grainy, like some naughty little child sprinkled sand in them while he was asleep. After blinking a few times, Teaspoon was able to open his eyes fully. Cautiously, he moved his head and was punished with a pounding headache for his effort. Instinctively, he moved his right hand to hold his head, but he quickly dropped it when he felt slivers of pain shoot up. Best to lie still, he grumbled to himself. 

As he stared at the ceiling, contemplating his situation, Teaspoon remembered the events that led him here. He and O'Reilley were able to corner some of the Black Raiders. Despite the gang's notorious reputation,

O'Reilley's men didn't think twice about riding into the enemy camp. Without waiting for a signal, some members of the Marshall's posse attacked. Young fools probably figured it would be an easy task to capture the gang and string them up. They paid dearly for their foolishness and arrogance.

A blood bath followed, the likes of which Teaspoon thought he only saw during the fall of the Alamo. The posse outnumbered the gang but the latter gave as good it got. By the time the smoke from the gunfight cleared, only five of the original 20-man posse were breathing. All the gang members were dead, some apparently by their own hands.

Teaspoon's eyes misted as he remembered seeing the pale, lifeless body of his friend and colleague O'Reilley but he blinked away the tears when he heard footsteps. His door opened to reveal Lou and Buck. Things must have looked bad, he thought. He could see the relief in their faces and Lou, though all smiles, was trying very hard to hold back tears.

Lou sat cautiously on the bed and pressed a gentle kiss on Teaspoon's forehead. "Hey, there."

Teaspoon smiled weakly. A small sob escaped Lou's lips. Buck moved to stand behind her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"How are you feeling, Teaspoon?"

He tried to answer, but weeks of disuse had taken his voice. Lou moved to pour a glass of water from the pitcher next to the bed, while Buck carefully raised Teaspoon's head. Gently, Lou placed the side of the glass against Teaspoon's lips.

His first sip of water tasted like heaven for Teaspoon. He wanted to finish the whole glass but Lou took it away after a few sips.

"We don't want you to overdo it," Lou explained when Teaspoon let out a grunt of disappointment. Moving efficiently, she checked his bandages. The wounds, she noted to her satisfaction, were healing. "Pretty soon you'll have lots of visitors."

At Teaspoon's questioning frown, Lou added, "Well, Kid and I were so worried when you weren't waking up that we called everybody. Cody and his wife are here. It'll probably take a while for Rachel and Mike to come up since they are in Washington. Emma and Sam said they'll be here soon. Oh, and Jimmy's home, too."

"Jimmy?" Teaspoon managed a croak.

"Yes." Lou wasn't familiar with the details of Teaspoon's and Jimmy's fight all those years ago, but she was very much aware their estrangement was part of the reason Hickok had avoided Sweetwater all these years. "He was very worried, Teaspoon."

He let out a grunt.

"Well, let me see what I can rustle up for a meal. I sure you're very hungry. How about some biscuits and eggs?"

Teaspoon nodded.

Lou was about to leave when Teaspoon's voice called her back. "How's ... family?"

"Well, James has been meeting his uncles and he's thrilled but also very suspicious of all these strangers." She smiled at Buck. "Marylou has began to talk though none of us understands what she means."

"Kid?"

The smile she flashed was too bright. "He's out delivering some horses. He'll be back soon."

"Raiders?"

This time, it was Buck who answered. "Don't worry about them, Teaspoon. We'll get them soon."

Teaspoon nodded. Inside, his mind was in turmoil. What happened to Buck? This wasn't the young man who left the ranch two years ago. What about the Kid? Did he try to go after the Raiders? And Jimmy. What were they going to say to each other after all these years? Teaspoon closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pounding pain in his head.


	8. Chapter 7

"Where the hell is that good-for-nothing husband of yours?"

The people gathered around the sick horse started at the sound of the angry voice. As one, they turned to look at the man darkening the door of the barn. Lou, who was applying a poultice on the horse, handed the herbs to Paul before standing up from the center of the circle.

"Jimmy? What's going on?"

"You tell me."

She walked toward Hickok as her foreman, who knew Lou would want privacy, rounded up his sons and the other ranch hands and ushered them out the barn and firmly closed the door.

"Where have you been?" As she came near Jimmy, she caught a whiff of liquor. "You've been drinking," she said accusingly, forgetting for a moment that they were no longer riders for the Pony Express, hence no longer subject to the company's no-drinking laws.

"Don't worry, Lou. My sarsaparilla days are long gone. A couple of shots of whiskey only warm me up," he said icily.

Lou tugged at Jimmy's arm, trying to lead him back to the house. "C'mon, let's get you inside. You need coffee."

Jimmy dug his heels and shook Lou's hand loose, "I don't need coffee. What I need is your husband, right here, right now, telling me why he hasn't pinned on that goddamn badge and gone after the Raiders."

"What?"

"Oh, don't act all innocent, Lou. You probably talked him into staying put."

Lou went white. "Wait. What are you talking about?"

"Your husband refused to help capture the Black Raiders," Jimmy spat out. "Jenkins asked him for help and he flat-out said no."

Before Lou could respond, a quiet voice answered from the behind, "Because the Raiders are not my responsibility. The people here are."

Jimmy whirled to around to find Kid standing behind him. "Damn you!" With those words, he swung his fist. Kid's head snapped back from the force of the blow, but he did not defend himself. He didn't even wipe the blood from his lips.

"Teaspoon nearly gets killed and you don't do anything about it?!" Jimmy was incredulous.

Lou rushed to her husband's side and shouted angrily at Jimmy. "We are doing everything we can for Teaspoon."

"Right," said Jimmy, his voice as cold as frost. "You're doing everything. Everything except going after the men responsible for almost killing Teaspoon. Day in, day out you go into that room, feeding him, bathing him, but Kid here won't do the one thing that really matters."

Kid shook his head. "You don't understand, I--"

"No, I really don't," Jimmy snapped angrily.

"I can't just leave and ride after bandits and criminals. I have a wife and children to protect. Friends and employees to take care of. I'm doing what's right for them by staying here and protecting them."

Jimmy let out a snort. "From what I've heard some of the farms and ranches that got hit had men protecting them, too. What makes you think you'll be able to stop the Raiders if they pick this one?"

Kid paled. What Hickok said was his worst nightmare. He started walking away, but Jimmy charged after him. With a hand on the other man's shoulder, Jimmy spun Kid around. He wanted his friend to make him understand. "What happened to you, Kid?"

Kid looked like he was about to respond, then changed his mind. He shrugged off Hickok's hand from his shoulder and walked away.

"Didn't know you were yellow, Kid," Jimmy shouted.

Kid just continued walking without looking back. He was a coward, he thought to himself. The idea of him being near the Black Raiders chilled him to his very soul. He left Lou and Jimmy staring at him, one in anguish, the other in disgust.

"What did you say to him, Lou? Probably the same thing you used to stop him from going off to war all those years ago, huh?" Jimmy asked the questions without looking at the woman beside him. He was furious and with Kid gone, he was lashing out at the handiest target. Even if it was Lou.

Lou didn't respond. Not out loud anyway. As she walked away, Jimmy heard a faint but distinct "You can be such a bastard, Jimmy Hickok."

* * *

Dinner was a subdued affair. Jimmy disappeared after his confrontation with Kid and no one knew where he was. Kid sat quietly at the head of the table barely eating. Teaspoon was still in his room, per the doctor's orders. James, picking up on the moods of the adults, was unnaturally silent. It fell on Buck, Lou and Cody to make conversation. 

"How's Sam and Emma?" Cody asked.

"Ecstatic. Did you get my letter about the twins?" Lou asked. "Sam is over the moon."

Buck broke out in a smile. "Sam Cain. I have a hard time imagining that man changing diapers."

Everyone at the table chuckled at the image of the former Sweetwater marshal trying to wrap and pin a triangle of cloth around a squirming, squalling child.

"Sam didn't want to travel after Emma gave birth. Seems like she had a little trouble with the pregnancy and the birthing. But everything is fine now," Lou hurriedly explained as she noticed the concerned looks around the table. She turned to Louisa who was seated on her right. She turned to Louisa, "How about you, do you have little ones?"

"Not yet," Louisa answered softly.

The sadness in her voice had Lou reached across the table to pat Louisa's hand.

"Is it true Rachel married a Pony Express agent?"

This time, it was Buck who answered Cody. "Yeah, Mike Staulder. He helped us out when those horse thieves— What?"

"You've been away for two years. How do you know about Rachel and Mike?" Lou interrupted.

Buck shrugged. "I hear things."

Lou rolled her eyes. Her voice was droll when she noted, "Those spirits are mighty talkative."

Buck's laughing response caught in his throat when he heard the door open and saw Hickok walk in wearing a black duster, his famous Colts peeking from inside.

Surprised that he was suddenly the focus of attention, Jimmy cleared his throat before speaking. "I just wanted to let you know I'm riding out. The Army sent some soldiers to go after the Raiders and I'm joining them." Jimmy addressed his statement to Kid, daring his friend to stop him — or join him.

Even before he was finished talking, the sound of a chair scraping the floor could be heard. "I'm riding with you," Cody said.

"But Cody—" Louisa began, shocked by the sudden turn of events. One moment they were talking about weddings and babies, and suddenly her husband was going after a dangerous gang.

"Stay here," he ordered, not giving her a chance to argue with him. He headed for the stairs to get his his bags and guns from one of the bedrooms. Louisa hurriedly followed.

When it became obvious Kid was not going to move, Jimmy turned away, anger apparent in every step.

Cody came running down the stairs and out the door. He didn't even pause to say goodbye to his friends or his wife. Buck, caught in the middle, sent a quick look at Kid and Lou before hurrying out after Jimmy and Cody.

"Wait!"

"Are you riding with us, Buck? We could use your help."

"No, Jimmy, but — wait! Would you stop for a second and think?" Buck caught a handful of his friend's duster. "Where are you going? No one even knows where the Raiders are, least of all a group of soldiers who've been inside a fort for who knows how long."

"What do you suggest?" Cody asked.

"Wait until tomorrow morning."

"I'm done waiting" Hickok began walking again.

"C'mon, Buck, we could use your help. You and I can act as scouts." Cody was warming up to the idea of being at the head of the posse that will capture the notorious gang. This could be another book, he thought. "It'll be like old times. Kid and Jimmy will—" Cody abruptly stopped and looked around. "Where's Kid?"

Jimmy threw a disgusted look at him. Sometimes Cody misses a lot. "He's not coming."

"Why the hell not?"

"He can't be bothered to leave his perfect little world and avenge a friend."

"Hickok."

It was a warning from Buck.

Jimmy turned to Cody. "Did you know Kid refused to pin a lawman's badge and go after the Raiders?"

"Why in God's name did he do that?" Cody couldn't believe the young man who led them in so many adventures would refuse an opportunity like that. If it was him, he wouldn't have thought twice. "Maybe marriage has softened him."

Buck stared at his friends in wonder. "Listen to yourselves. Instead of trying to figure out why Kid refused to after the Raiders — which I think is perfectly reasonable considering the odds — you make all these assumptions. Of course, he would think twice about riding after this gang. He's got responsibilities now. A wife, children, ranch, people working for him," he said angrily. Seeing his words had no effect on his friends, Buck changed his tone. "This is Kid we are talking about. I'm sure there is an explanation for all this," he added beseechingly.

Jimmy let out a snort of disbelief. "Sure, go on defending him. After all, you are part of his perfect little world, ain't you?"

Buck's eyes pierced Jimmy to his spot. "Do what you want. Believe what you will. Just make sure you're going after the Raiders because of the right reasons." His gaze shifted to Cody. "Not because you want to make heroes of yourselves." He turned back to Jimmy. "Or because you think it'll buy you forgiveness."

* * *

Kid dropped the curtain he was holding back and turned away from the window at the sound of his wife's footsteps. He'd watched as Jimmy and Cody had taken their horses from the stable and ridden out of the ranch. He wanted to call out to them, to explain to them why he couldn't do what they wanted him to do, but terror froze the words on his lips. Jimmy was right on the mark when he called me a coward, Kid thought in despair. 

"Kid?" Lou stood beside her husband and comfortingly ran her hand down his back. Her hand stilled when she noticed how tense he was. Her brown eyes deepened with concern. "Talk to me. Please."

"There's nothing to talk about."

Lou's shoulders slumped. Half of her didn't want to disrupt the tenuous peace in her household. The other half was furious at and frustrated by her husband's stubbornness. She followed Kid around the dining table as he began to pick up the plates. His agitation was obvious in the way the plates rattled against each other.

"Kid, I can't do this anymore. I need to know what's going on."

"Nothing is going on!" Kid's voice rose near the end and he struggled to calm himself. "If Jimmy wants to go after the Raiders, he can do that. He doesn't have responsibilities. I do. Why, did you want me to after the Raiders?"

"Of course not! But—"

"But what?!"

"Your responsibilities to me, to this family and to this ranch, they never stopped you in the past. You always rode with Teaspoon," Lou pointed out quietly. "And I'm wondering what made this time different."

Kid's jaw muscles clenched and unclenched. It was a long moment before he responded and his voice was tight. "I don't want to talk about this, Louise." With that, he headed toward the kitchen.

But Lou would not let go, not this time. She charged after her husband and grabbed his shirt. "No! Dammit! I'm tired of you walking out every time the Raiders are mentioned. You're going to tell me about them You're going to tell me about those nightmares. About Pete!"

All the sleepless, terror-filled nights, all the guilt, all the fear came together. With all the anger and desperation burning inside him, Kid hurled the plates across the room. They shattered into hundreds of pieces, carpeting the floor with sharp shards of porcelain.

Lou's breath caught in her throat, her eyes filled with fear and disbelief. Stunned by her husband's violent eruption, she remained rooted to where she stood. She knew she wasn't the target of Kid's anger but it didn't stop the cold from creeping into her heart.

Kid was shocked as much as Lou. He didn't realize what he intended to do until the plates left his hand and by that time the deed was done. He heard the plates break and felt his soul shatter along with them. Full of remorse, Kid turned to take a step toward Lou and was crushed when she took an involuntary step backwards. It was the last straw and Kid collapsed on the floor, his body racked by sobs.

Lou rushed to her husband's side, her love overpowering her fear. She wrapped her arms around him and rocked him gently. "Shhhh, everything is all right. I'm here. Shhhh," she crooned.

"God, Lou, I'm such a coward," Kid whispered.

At that moment, the door flung open and Buck burst in, his gun drawn. "What happened?" he asked, his eyes scanning the room for any sign of trouble. His gaze fell on the broken pieces of porcelain on the floor and quickly moved to the couple huddled on the floor. "What happened?" he repeated.

Lou shook her head and helped Kid sit on one of the chairs. Buck looked around, not knowing what was expected of him. Finally, he put his gun back in its holster and turned to leave.

"Buck, wait."

He looked back. Kid was not looking at him but he couldn't mistake the pleading he heard in his friend's voice. He sat across from Kid. Lou sat beside her husband, her hands cradling his. "Forgive me. I didn't know what to do. I just didn't know—" He chanced a glance at Lou, then quickly looked down on their joined hands. He was afraid to search Lou's face for forgiveness and understanding, unsure of what he might find once he told his story. "I'm sorry, I should have told you this the moment we heard about the Raiders."

He took a deep breath, then began. "People say no one has ever survived an attack by the Black Raiders. They are wrong."

"One night when I was ten, I snuck out of our house. I met with my friend Pete in the woods at the back of their house and we played marbles. I remember I was losing. We heard a rumbling from the distance and we thought it was thunder but men wearing black masks came galloping toward Pete's house. We hid in the bushes. We watched as they ... they killed Pete's family."

Kid shuddered to a stop as the gory images invaded his mind once again. But instead of pushing the memories away, this time he invited them and let them fill him. He let himself remember every single terrible moment.

"We were safe in the bushes but when Pete saw his mother being dragged out, he ran toward her. Someone dropped him before he even reached her arms. I wanted to scream but I couldn't. The Raiders took the horses and burned the barns and then they were just gone. I don't know how I got home, but when I woke up the next day I had a terrible fever and my mom was crying. Jed was furious because my father had left us to fend for ourselves. I couldn't remember much. I was too sick to remember anything except what happened that night. I had nightmares every single night. They stopped only when I left Virginia."

"And you never had them again until Teaspoon got that letter from his friend about the Raiders," Lou concluded. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, her soft, breaking voice failing to mask the hurt she felt for the little boy inside her husband. The little boy who witnessed the slaughter of people he knew, of a friend he'd loved. "Why did you hide this from me?

"I ... I don't—" Kid shook his head helplessly, unable to continue. Suddenly, he gripped Lou's hands tightly, his eyes willing her to understand. "I tried to ... I couldn't. I wanted to avenge Pete. I wanted to ride with Teaspoon. I really did, but I couldn't even load a gun without the bullets dropping on the floor. I'm so scared. I was so scared he'd see me and stop and kill me."

Lou and Buck exchanged quick glances, both taking note of Kid's last statement. Buck asked the question foremost in both their minds. "Who, Kid?"

"Who what?" Kid asked, unaware of what had slipped out.

"Who almost saw you?"

Kid looked like he was going to clam up again and Lou quickly pressed him. "Please, Kid. Who scared you so much?"

Kid exhaled. "The leader of the Raiders."

"He saw you?" Lou whispered, her terror rising.

Kid nodded. "They were leaving and the man who looked like he was giving the orders was the last to ride out of the farm. He stopped in front of the bush where I was hiding. I think he saw one of my marbles. He must have. I waited for him to shoot ... but I don't remember what happened after."

Lou looked into her husband's eyes, searching for the answers to her questions. And she found them. She finally understood what he was going through — his need to keep others from seeing his paralyzing fear, his guilt for having survived when others have not, his belief that his fear has made him a lesser man. Slowly, the pain Lou's heart diminished. In its place grew a deeper love for the man she married six years ago. Lou suddenly felt small, felt ashamed for being hurt. Hadn't she done the same thing to him when a ghost from the past came to haunt her? Hadn't she shut him out when Wicks — the man who had attacked her as a young woman — arrived in Rock Creek? Her eyes brimming with unshed tears, Lou cupped Kid's face in her hands and kissed him. Salty tears mixed with her own as Kid wrapped his arms around her as if he would never let go.


	9. Chapter 8

Kid looked up just in time to see the bushes around him go up in flames. He sprang from his hiding place and ran as fast as his 10-year-old legs could carry him. Suddenly, a huge black horse reared up in front of him. Stunned, Kid fell backwards and covered his head with his arms, certain the horse was going to trample him and he was going to die. He waited for the blow, but it never came. When he opened his eyes, he had a gun in his hands. Slowly, his little fingers quivering, he lifted the gun at the man behind the mask. He tried to pull the trigger but he couldn't keep the gun straight; it was too heavy for him. Tears falling from his eyes, a prayer spilling from his lips, he pulled the trigger. BANG! The man fell dead. Cautiously, Kid approached the fallen figure. Blood was already pooling under the head. With a mixture of fear and anticipation, Kid tugged at the mask covering the man's face.

"Kid." The sound of soft whimpers had woken up Lou. She quickly realized her husband was once again caught in the throes of another nightmare. Gently, she shook him. "Sweetheart, you're dreaming. Wake up." The skin beneath her hand was as cold and clammy and taut with tension. Suddenly, Kid opened his eyes. They were wild with fear and anger. Lou felt like she was watching a volcano up close. Rock hard all around, the violence trapped underneath.

"It's OK. I'm here. It's OK," she repeated over and over again until she felt that the words had finally broken through the wall of terror surrounding Kid.

After what seemed like an eternity, Kid's heart finally slowed down to its normal rhythm. He kissed Lou on the lips, drawing strength and comfort. Then he slid out of her embrace and padded silently to the window, which he opened. For a long time, Kid stood there breathing in fresh air, as if he could cleanse the darkness inside him by inhaling and exhaling almost rhythmically. After a while he pointed to something in the sky. Lou stood up to see what it was.

"See that moon?" Kid asked, nodding at the bright, round sphere of silver. "It was almost like that when Pete was killed. I remember because we were playing marbles and we didn't need any light at all because the moon was so bright — so bright we could see almost everything clearly." He turned to wrap his arms around Lou and place a soft kiss on her brow. "I dreamt of that man again tonight, but it was different."

Lou looked up at her husband. "How so?"

"I had a gun. And I killed him."

Lou stiffened. She searched her husband's face, and the moonlight made it easy for her to see the growing resolve in it. She shook her head. "No, Kid. No. Don't. You don't have to do this."

"I don't think the nightmares will stop," he said sadly.

"Yes, they will." Lou knew exactly where the conversation was going and tried to head it off. "We can leave Sweetwater. You said so yourself, you didn't have nightmares after leaving Virginia. We can take the family to a place where they've never heard of the Raiders."

"Then what? If the Raiders aren't stopped, their reign of terror will spread until there's no place I can hide from them. I don't think I can run away anymore. I have to do this, Lou," he pleaded. "You see that, don't you?"

Lou wanted to say no she didn't see why Kid had to go after the gang, why he needed to risk his life. But she couldn't.

"I don't want to do this, Lou. But I have to." He begged for her understanding. Lou could hear the steely determination in his voice. Her tears flowed unchecked. Her lips sought out his and they clung together, fearful of what tomorrow might bring.

* * *

"Lou, told me everything. Are you sure, son?" 

Kid and Buck were preparing to ride after their friends and the Army. The break of dawn brought not only Kid's resolution to go after Jimmy and Cody but also news from Mayor Jenkins that a ranch in Blue Creek had been attacked.

"I don't have any choice, Teaspoon. I've got to do this before I go insane." Kid meant it as a joke but it came out as a grim admission. "Besides, we have to go after Jimmy and Cody. They have no idea what they are up against."

"Jenkins should have gone straight to the Army. He shouldn't have approached you again," Teaspoon said crossly.

Kid smiled at the older man's protectiveness. "No, he was right. I should have done this before. Anyway, there are more soldiers joining us. We'll be meeting them halfway through Fort Laramie. Some folks saw masked riders around that area."

"We won't get into a fight unprepared, Teaspoon. We'll just scout the territory and get the boys and the posse out of there," Buck added reassuringly when he saw Teaspoon's frown deepen.

"Hickok is doing this because of me, isn't he? He thinks he needs my forgiveness." The guilt in his heart was growing heavier. He knew that if the boy died he'll never be able to forgive himself. I should have told him I didn't blame him for leaving, Teaspoon thought.

"Does he?" Buck asked quietly.

Teaspoon shook his head sadly. "No, but I never told him that, did I?"

"You'll get the chance when we bring him and Cody back." Kid assured him. He tightened Katie's cinch before walking back up the porch where Lou was standing with Marylou on her waist and James at her feet.

"I'm glad Buck is going with you."

"I'm glad he is coming."

"You take care, OK. James and Marylou need you. ... I need you."

"Don't worry, sweetheart," Kid said as he took James into his arms and hugged him and kissed him. "Mind your mother, James." He did the same to Marylou, who tried to wriggle out of her father's grasp. Finally, he wrapped his arms around his wife, inhaled her scent and kissed her deeply.

Lou held on tight, almost unwilling to let go. "If you feel you can't handle it, you ride out of there, OK. Just leave and return to the ranch. No one will think less of you," she whispered.

Kid caressed her cheek with a finger. Dropping his hand, he slowly turned away.

Buck, who'd come up the steps to say goodbye, kissed the children as well. "Don't worry, Lou. It'll just be like old times," he said with a teasing smile.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Lou answered ruefully.

Dropping all signs of humor, Buck embraced his friend. "I'll look after him, Lou."

Lou's hug tightened, an acknowledgment of Buck's pledge. "I know you will."

After Buck had taken a few steps away, Lou called out, "Buck, may your spirits protect you."

Buck gave her a smiling salute. Then he noticed a figure hovering just behind the screen door. It was Louisa. He wanted to ignore her, just as he had for the past couple of days, but her downcast expression touched a part of him. Cody, Lou said, didn't even say goodbye. Buck felt he should make up for his friend's neglect. "Louisa," he called out gently.

Louisa looked up, surprised by Buck's attention and unsure of what to do. She was terribly insecure of her place in the family, not helped by Cody's abrupt departure.

"Have you come to say goodbye?" Buck asked.

Taking a deep breath, Louisa pushed the door open and waked outside. "No goodbyes. I'm sure we'll see each other again," she answered, her voice almost too soft to be heard. Lou smiled at Louisa reassuringly and caught her hand, bringing her closer. She smiled gratefully at Lou, then shyly, she stole a glance at Buck, then at Kid. "Take care."

Within moments of their farewells, Buck and Kid were mounted on their trusty steeds, galloping away. Lou followed her husband's figure until it disappeared into the horizon. Kid will come back safe, she told herself. Beside her Teaspoon whispered a familiar refrain. "Ride safe, boys, Ride safe."

* * *

It was late afternoon when Kid, Buck and the soldiers rode slowly into a clearing, careful to avoid a few remaining embers. Their eyes took in the devastation. The house and barns were completely burned down. Even the trees around them were singed by the intense heat of the fire. It was the site of the Raiders' latest attack, a small but well-known ranch in Blue Creek. The mayor had told them six people died, apparently burned alive.

The two riders dismounted and began scanning the place. When the soldiers tried to follow, Buck held up a hand. "Stay there," he shouted. The major, who'd seen Indian scouts at work before, signaled his men to obey.

Buck noticed an uneven spot and kneeled down to take a better look. Kid went around the blackened remnants of the house to check for clues. He didn't expect anything. He found nothing. He went back to where Buck was still crouching, frowning at the deep and ragged marks on the ground.

"So, what do you think, Buck?"

The Indian shook his head. "Hard to say." Buck stood up and moved to get another angle. Silently, he followed something on the ground only he could see, looking back several times to the spot he left as if to gauge a distance.

"What?" Kid asked.

"The tracks were washed away by the storm last night but from what I could make out there are thirty horses. Some are fresher than the others." Buck pointed to a mark on the ground. "Look here. Do you

recognize this?"

"It looks vaguely familiar." Kid angled his head to get a better look.

"It's Jimmy's horse. See, it's got a nipped hoof."

"So they're on the Raiders' heels."

Buck's mouth twisted into a wry smile. "Ever wished our friends weren't too cocky?"

"Cockiness will get them killed."

"Teaspoon told Hickok that when we were riders."

"And he never listened."

Buck sighed and finally told his friend what had been on his mind throughout the ride. "Kid, you know they won't go back with us."

Kid gave a sigh of resignation. "Of course, I do. Never really thought otherwise."

* * *

"Spit it out, Cody." Jimmy carelessly threw his dirty saddle next to Cody, who immediately started coughing as dust flew around him. Around them, most of the men and soldiers were getting ready to get some sleep, while others were setting up watch. 

"Spit out what?" Cody asked when he managed to speak.

"You haven't said much since we left the ranch. Ain't like you at all." Jimmy plunked down beside his friend and stretched his legs with a groan. It had been a hard ride. After leaving the ranch last night they rode swiftly toward Redford to meet up with other lawmen. When they heard the news about Blue Creek, they immediately doubled back. Jimmy and Cody had been on the saddle for nearly a whole day. "What are you thinking?"

"Well, if you must know I was thinking about the Kid."

"What about him?"

"Him not going with us?" Cody asked incredulously. He shook his head. "It don't make sense. I could have sworn he would be the first out here and after the gang."

"People change, Cody. They get settled, get comfortable. Pretty soon they can't be bothered by things outside their safe—" Jimmy began.

"No, it ain't that," Cody interrupted.

"How do you know?"

"I've heard Kid and Teaspoon have ridden together against some pretty bad guys over the years," Cody replied. He shrugged at Jimmy's questioning look. "So, I keep track," he said in a slightly defensive tone.

"What is it then? Why do you think Kid is being such an ass about the whole thing?"

Cody shrugged again, but his eyebrows pulled down into a frown. He felt something different about his friend but couldn't quite figure what it was. "I ain't sure. But I know Kid. You know Kid. He ain't like that. And even if he did change, he won't change that much. There's something else. I wish I could talk to Buck."

"What for?"

"To ask him. I'm sure he knows."

"Yeah, sure," Jimmy drawled out. He tried to sound dismissive but he couldn't quite pull it off, not when Cody's questions were the same ones going through his mind during the entire ride. He was beginning to regret his outbursts against his friend. Kid might be a righteous bastard sometimes, but one thing he ain't is a coward, Jimmy thought. He shifted uncomfortably as he remembered his anger toward the Kid. But was it Kid he was really angry with? Jimmy frowned at the direction his thoughts were taking. He pushed away the potentially shameful ideas in his head. He stretched is legs farther and covered his upper body with his warm jacket. He tried to force himself to sleep, but Cody had a different idea.

"Jimmy?"

Hickok grunted in response.

"You seem to have formed a pretty good idea why Kid is not going after this gang. I want to know your reason."

Jimmy didn't respond for a long time. He couldn't. The seconds turned to minutes and Jimmy began to squirm under the jacket. Finally, he flung his cover aside and blurted out, "It's Teaspoon, okay?"

"Hmmmm," Cody nodded. Jimmy waited for Cody to say something else. When he didn't, Jimmy thought he'd let the subject drop. He made himself comfortable under the jacket again. Then Cody continued in a musing tone, "You barely spent two minutes with the old man."

"I didn't want to tire him out. Now, go to sleep."

Cody let out a snort but remained silent. He had given his friend food for thought. He wasn't sure exactly what was going on with the Kid, but Lou and Buck can help him figure it out. Hickok, on the other hand, had kept himself apart, probably so no one would ask him what was wrong, Cody thought. Then he heard Jimmy speak.

"I don't know what to say to him."

"What's that?"

"Teaspoon. I really don't know what to say to him. We had a fight before I left. He was furious when I went back to Kansas. I didn't ... don't think he would ever forgive me."

"And this is your atonement for abandoning him."

"Maybe. Hell, I don't know—" The sound of twigs breaking alerted Jimmy and Cody. Both had their guns cocked and ready before they finished asking, "Who's there?"

"It's me," came the response from the Kid.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Kid stiffened at Jimmy's tone.

Buck saved him from answering. "You'll need the extra guns."

"Glad you're here," Cody said, ignoring Jimmy's sharp glance.

Kid responded with a slight nod, his eyes never leaving Jimmy's face.


	10. Chapter 9

"Coffee?"

"Thanks." Buck accepted the tin mug Cody gave him and sat opposite his friend.

The sky was still a pewter black but all around them the camp was stirring, getting ready for a brand new day. Men were coming out of tents, or shaking out their bedrolls. Some were checking their guns or, like Cody, making coffee to warm their insides.

Buck eyed the dozen or so soldiers who came with him and Kid. He had hoped for veterans, but, aside from the major, the soldiers they got were all greenhorns who looked like they would wet their pants at the first sign of battle. Even now, Buck could see the apprehension on their faces as they watched the grizzled men around them go about their business. With a shake of his head, Buck turned his attention to Cody.

"So, do you know where the Raiders are?"

"Across this bluff, in the canyon," came the quick reply. At Buck's questioning glance, Cody elaborated, "Jimmy and I followed them yesterday. They're trapped. They'll have to double back to leave the canyon. They have nowhere to go."

Buck felt uneasy. The Raiders trapped? After hearing so much about how they've eluded numerous lawmen, capturing them couldn't be this easy, could it?

"Where's Jimmy now?"

"Scouting the area. Trying to find a good place to set up an ambush."

Buck took a gulp from the bitter brew he held. He grimaced as the hot liquid slid down his throat, then his empty stomach. The gurgle he heard reminded him he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday morning. He and the Kid skipped meals as they rode hard and fast to catch up with Cody and Jimmy. Putting his mug down on the ground, he pulled his saddlebags to his side. Buck could feel Cody's eyes on him as he rummaged for the dried beef jerky he knew Lou packed for them. He probably wanted to know about his wife, Buck thought.

"You know, you haven't even asked me about your wife," Buck said, still rummaging inside his saddlebag. Was the jerky in Kid's bags, he wondered. Then his fingers wrapped around a package he recognized by its shape as the beef. He pulled that out and turned around.

"Louisa?" Cody frowned.

Buck lifted an eyebrow. "Do you have any other?"

Cody smiled and shook his head, "She'll be fine. She's a soldier's wife, she's used to me taking off at a moment's notice."

Buck didn't think Louisa was fine at all at being left behind with hardly a word of goodbye. He suddenly felt angry on Louisa's behalf. He couldn't understand how Cody could be so dismissive, so uncaring. If she was his wife, he would —

Buck suddenly stopped. It was dangerous territory he was treading. The last thing he needed was to think of himself as someone's husband, again. Buck busied himself unwrapping the jerky and handing some to a grateful Cody. Looking for distraction, Buck cast a glance behind him and saw Kid across the camp engrossed in a conversation with one of the men. Looking at Kid, then back at Cody, Buck silently debated whether to tell his other friends Kid's story. He had waited for Kid to offer an explanation to Jimmy and Cody last night, especially since Jimmy pressed them about their seeming change of heart. But Kid had remained silent. Buck thought it was important Jimmy and Cody understood what it took for Kid to come — and what danger he posed. If Kid froze at a crucial moment, Buck wanted his friends to know so they could all cover him.

"Cody." Buck gestured for the blond man to move a bit closer. Quickly and quietly, Buck recounted Kid's story. He didn't go into too many details but impressed upon his friend that Kid's encounter with the Raiders when he was a child had left a deep impact.

"Why didn't he just say so?" Cody asked, visibly shaken by Kid's childhood ordeal.

They are memories he would rather forget, Cody. You can't expect him to just blurt it out."

"He should have," a new voice said harshly.

Buck and Cody looked up to see Jimmy behind them, his face red with anger, his hands clenched in fists.

"Just calm down, Jimmy."

"He shouldn't be here at all. Does he want to get himself killed? Just think of what could happen in a gunfight! He should go home!" Jimmy shouted furiously before turning and heading toward the Kid.

One day, I would probably laugh at the irony of this situation, Buck thought, as he and Cody scrambled to stop Jimmy from reaching Kid.

"Go home. Take Buck with you," he heard Jimmy yell at Kid.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Look, Kid I'm not big on apologies so just take this as such. But you gotta haul yourself away from here and away from those Raiders."

Buck stepped forward. "Kid, I'm sorry ... I—"

Kid sighed. He had thought about telling Jimmy and Cody last night. But he wasn't quite sure how to share his story. He looked up at Jimmy, who was struggling to keep his fury in check. "Guess you finally got what you wanted. You're stuck with me."

* * *

Kid felt more than saw the figure behind him. 

"Hey Kid, it's me," he heard Jimmy call out softly.

With a muffled curse, Kid holstered his gun and assumed his original position behind a boulder. "What are you doing here? Where's Flaherty?" he asked. Kid's attention was focused on the large group of men assembled below, in the canyon. From what he could see, there were only twelve raiders, but Kid had a feeling there were more. He just didn't have any idea where they could be.

"I switched with your guy," Jimmy answered as he crawled behind another one of the huge rocks surrounding the canyon.

Kid shook his head and chuckled softly.

"What?"

"I know what you're doing." At Jimmy's frown, Kid elaborated, "Last night, you were ready to kick me out of this camp, hating my guts, calling me a coward. Now, you're trying to protect me. Guilty conscience?"

Jimmy flushed. "I already said I was sorry."

His friend's chagrin only enhanced Kid's humor. "We are a sorry pair, James Butler Hickok."

Realizing the absurdity of the situation, Jimmy cracked a small smile. "We sure are, Kid. We sure are."

Kid seemed content to let the subject drop, by Jimmy was still distressed by his outbursts. He wanted to explain. He _needed_ to explain.

"Kid?"

"Yeah?"

"It wasn't just about Teaspoon—"

Kid held up his hand, stopping his friend. "Jimmy, let it go."

Hickok shook his head. "I'm happy for you. For you and Lou. You've beautiful children, a lovely home, a successful ranch. All the things I think I'd like to have. It's easy to run around playing marshal when you have no responsibilities. When no one who really matters count on you."

Kid knew Jimmy's words were more than just an apology. They were a confession, the closest Hickok would come to admitting the regrets in his life. Kid felt such overwhelming sadness for his friend. "Jimmy ..." he began softly, but a sound like that of the hoot of an owl stopped Kid. Buck, who was on the other side of the canyon, was signaling them to get ready. Unconsciously, Kid and Jimmy squared their shoulders, bracing themselves for the battle that was to come. Kid hoisted a Beckwood volley gun, similar to the one he used during their first adventure as riders of the Pony Express, while Jimmy had both his Navy Colts in his hands. On the other side of the canyon, they saw a light flash and they knew it was Cody's signal.

Suddenly, the canyon exploded. Six Beckwood guns fired at the same moment, hitting previously picked targets. The assault would have driven other men to scatter like headless chickens. But not this gang. Instead of reacting blindly to the volley fire raining at them, the Black Raiders calmly but swiftly assembled their arsenal of weapons and in no time, began to fire back.

The posse had the high ground. But the Black Raiders had the advantage of experience and they knew how to get out of tight spots — literally. There was a secret passageway leading out of the canyon and right behind the attacking posse. Under the cover of gunfire and smoke of burning bedrolls, some of the Black Raiders began disappearing into the crack.

"Kid!" Jimmy shouted. "You think we're hitting anybody? I can't see a damn thing because of that smoke! Kid?"

"Jimmy, do you notice anything?"

"Didn't you hear me?" Jimmy bellowed. "I just said I can't see anything."

"No! Just listen. There is fewer gunfire coming from below."

Jimmy looked at Kid in disbelief. Kid's only response was a nod toward the canyon. Jimmy listened, or at least tried to, considering the cacophony of noise surrounding him. As he began to distinguish the sound of friendly fire from the volley coming from below, Jimmy realized Kid was right. He sent an anxious glance at Kid, who had began to move away from the boulder and look around. The rest of the men were still focusing on the canyon. Except for Buck, who had also noticed the disappearance of most of the Raiders below and was now falling back, scanning the trees and rocks behind the posse.

"THEY'RE BEHIND YOU!!!"

Kid shouted as he fired at a Raider who was taking aim at Jimmy. Hickok flashed Kid a grateful smile before dropping to a safer position. Most of the soldiers and the posse members switched their attention to the immediate threat behind them, while the others remained focused on the Raiders below. The tables had turned. The lawmen and the soldiers were trapped.

* * *

"How the hell did this happen?" Cody shouted over the din of the gunfire. When no one answered, Cody looked behind his shoulder to see where Buck was. 

His distraction nearly cost him his life.

A Raider lifted his shotgun and cocked it, his eyes never leaving his target — Cody. Just as the man was about to pull the trigger, a knife sliced neatly through the air, lodging itself in the man's throat. So strong was the force behind the weapon that the man fell backwards, his face a mask of frozen horror.

Cody shouted thanks to his friend but Buck was already running toward to get his knife from the man.

* * *

Kill! Kill them all! Wipe them out of the face of the earth! Avenge Red Bear's death. 

Buck, blood-drenched knife in hand, wheeled away from his last victim. He didn't know when it all began to blur to him. One moment he was fighting Raiders, the next he saw only the soldiers' uniform as they rode into his village, firing at everyone and everything. The horses the braves rode were shot from under them, and the warriors were trampled by the soldiers' mounts. Red Bear pulled him roughly from the melee, ordering him to save the women and children. Buck didn't want to go, certain he could make a difference in the fight if he stayed. But Red Bear, his eyes pleading, told him to save what remained of their tribe. The last thing he saw before he rode out of the reservation camp was his beloved brother falling under a hail of bullets.

Buck shook the nightmares away and forced himself to calm down. He fought to remember what he was fighting for. This wasn't the time to think about the past. His eyes moved to the reddened blade of his knife and to the blood on his hands. With a shiver, he wiped the blade on the grass beneath him and slowly returned his knife to the sheath strapped on his thigh. With a renewed purpose, he pulled out his gun from its holster.

* * *

"Kid, we're running low on bullets. We've got to do something." Jimmy ducked, as he tried evade a hail of bullets, his fingers rapidly loading his guns with an ease that spoke of a life lived by that weapon. 

Jimmy looked over to see Kid staring at the canyon below. For a moment, Jimmy thought Kid's worst nightmare had come true — that he had frozen in the midst of the fight. But when he saw Kid look back repeatedly from the edge of the abyss to the clearing below, Jimmy realized Kid was calculating the height of the canyon's drop. Jimmy eyed his friend worriedly, "You're not thinking of going down there are you?"

Kid's response was to start crawling toward the edge of the canyon. "There are only several Raiders below but they pose a problem for the men. We have to take them out. You've got to cover me while I find a way down there."

"No, it's much to dangerous," Jimmy protested, as he grabbed Kid's ankles to prevent him from leaving.

"It's the only chance we've got. The only chance they've got," Kid pointed out, indicating the outgunned posse members with his head. He shook Jimmy's hand loose, then stopped to fire his gun at one of the Raiders in the canyon.

"Then let me do it," Jimmy said, his tongue wetting his suddenly dry lips.

"Have you ever climbed down a steep wall like this one before?" Kid asked, although he knew the answer.

Jimmy hesitated, shaking his head.

"I didn't think so. Cover me. You're a much better shot."

Jimmy briefly remembered the time he and the riders were facing a similar situation. Kid volunteered to climb up a mountain and provide cover for the fleeing riders. He stopped Jimmy from coming saying Hickok was a much better shot than him. Jimmy knew Kid was lying. Kid could shoot an ace in the heart 45 paces away. He'd seen him do it before.

"That may have worked before but — Kid, what are you doing?" Jimmy crawled after Kid who was starting his descent.

"We're losing time arguing. Now cover me!" Kid bit out harshly as he bellied his way down the rough wall, punctuated by jutting rocks. Jimmy scrambled to change his position and protect his friend from the gunfire below. Just when Jimmy thought he was about to ran out of bullets, Kid finally dropped down to a safe, covered position. Jimmy sighed in relief and was about to reload his guns when he noticed several Raiders headed towards him. Without even thinking, Jimmy shoved his empty guns into his holsters and then hauled himself down the canyon. Not used to activities such as this, Jimmy rapidly slid down the ragged walls. As he tried to regain his footing, Jimmy's hands clumsily clutched at a jagged rocks and the sharp edges sliced the palm of his right hand deeply. Unable to hold on, Jimmy dropped some fifteen feet, soft ground breaking his fall.

Meanwhile, Kid made his way through the smoke toward Jimmy. He had ran to the other side of the canyon after making a similar drop but now he retraced his steps to save his friend.

Fortunately, Jimmy didn't need much saving. After a few wracking coughs, he regained his breath and vision. His hand automatically going for his guns, as he noticed a figure coming out of the smoke towards him.

"Jimmy," Kid called out, "follow me."

Dodging gunfire and fallen bodies, the pair made their way behind a huge boulder. "How many are there?" Jimmy pulled out a handkerchief and wound it tightly around his bloody right hand.

"Five," Kid answered as he continued to exchange gunfire with the Raiders. "Four," he counted again as he hit one of the men between the eyes.

"I see you don't need me for a while," Jimmy commented. He reloaded his Navy colts.

"They're closing in." Kid dropped to Jimmy's side and rapidly reloaded his gun. Jimmy took Kid's place and began firing. Kid soon joined him and between the two of them, they were able to dispose three more raiders.

"Why can't the last one just die," Jimmy screamed in frustration as he dropped down once again to reload his guns. "Didn't a bullet go through him?"

"I'm out of bullets," Kid whispered.

Jimmy whipped around to stare at Kid in disbelief. "What!?"

"I've run out of bullets. I think I have just two left in my pocket."

"Lucky for me," a deep voice drawled menacingly, as Jimmy felt the cold barrel of a gun against his temple.


	11. Chapter 10

Kid's hand froze as his gaze traveled from the gun pointed at his friend's head, to the hand that held it then to the face of the man who had captured them. Kid stiffened. A million memories coursed through his brain. The sounds of gunfire faded, his whole consciousness focused on the voice he heard. It was huskier, fuller but it was the same rich baritone he knew as well as his own. Shifting his gaze from the man to the gun then back at the man, Kid's eyes sought to confirm what his mind and his heart was telling him. Hard blue-gray eyes shone brightly against the tanned face. Kid found himself locking onto those eyes.

"Cat got your tongue, boy?" the man asked, amused by his quarry's immobility. "You dared go up against the Raiders and now that you are face to face with me all you can do is stare like a cornered rat. How disappointing." The voice was clipped with no trace of a Southern accent.

"Shoot him, Kid," Jimmy bit out harshly. His words earned him a hard knock on the back of the head and he slumped to the ground in pain. His captor didn't let go, though, and continued to press the gun against him.

"Stand up," the man ordered Kid, at the same time pulling Jimmy to his feet. "You two are going to help me escape. As long as I have you, I'll be safe from your men." As the Raider pushed Jimmy to walk, Kid remained rooted to his spot.

"You want me to kill you or your friend, boy? It won't matter which, I'll still have one of you. Now, move along."

Kid turned around and began to walk. Just when he thought there was nowhere to go, the man directed him to turn left. Puzzled, he looked back and saw the Raider motioning with his head. When Kid got closer, what appeared like a seamless wall revealed a narrow opening.

"Just one of my many tricks," the man whispered. Kid stepped inside the cramped space, finding it even smaller than it looked. The walls were damp and smelled musty, the stairs hewn from the rock slippery. Kid fought to keep his balance and his sanity as he walked inside the dark, narrow cavern. Is this why he was so afraid to go up against the Raiders? Did he know in his heart what he was going to find?

Aloud, he asked, "Why do you do this?" He heard a snicker behind him.

"Small talk at a time like this?" The man let out a harsh laugh.

"You're going to kill us anyway," Jimmy said. "Humor a couple of dead men walking." He wondered if Kid had a plan and if this was part of it.

"True," the man chuckled softly again. "What was the question? Oh yeah, why do I do this? Hmmm. Because it is very profitable."

"Profit?" Jimmy asked icily. "You make it sound like you're a businessman."

"Business of killing and stealing," Kid added, his voice almost breaking. "Is it profitable to kill innocent children?" The image of Pete, drenched in his own blood, eyes staring blindly filled Kid's mind.

"No, but at least I'm sure no one is going to come after me when they grow up."

Kid remained silent. He couldn't grasp the idea that this man could be so evil. He looked up to see a tiny slash of bright light above him. They were near the top of the canyon.

"Do you have family?" Kid asked.

If he was taken back by the question, it wasn't noticeable. "No."

"No wife, no children?" Kid asked.

Behind him, Jimmy wondered where the questions were leading to.

"None," the man answered curtly. There was a slight hesitation before the answer, imperceptible except for those hoping to hear it. Kid wondered if he imagined the catch in the man's voice.

"No Elizabeth? No Jedidiah? No little boy named—"

A shot rang out drowning Kid's words. "Who the hell are you? Why do you know these names?" the Raiders shouted just as Kid stepped out into the sunlight.

Kid turned around and looked into the eyes of the man who ran out on him, his mother and his brother decades ago. "I'm your son.

* * *

For years he imagined what it would be like to see his father again. To see him face to face. Kid wondered how he would react. How his father would react. He thought about what they would say to each other. It broke his mother's heart but when he was a little boy, he would stand in front of the mirror and pretend that his father had returned home to them. He practiced what he would say. But no amount of rehearsals prepared him for this meeting. And never in his wildest fantasies did he imagine his father's response. 

The raider dropped his gun from its position at the back of Jimmy's head, but the man's words stopped Kid from breathing a sigh of relief.

"It's a pity I have to do this then," the raider said, as he pressed the gun to Jimmy's side and calmly pulled the trigger.

Both Jimmy and Kid shouted, one in pain, the other in horror. Jimmy clutched his side, his face ashen, his eyes blurred by the pain and confusion of the recent turn of events.

Kid watched in shock as Jimmy slumped on the stairs, the spot of blood on his jacket growing sickeningly large. He never knew what made him jump up and bolt from the stairs. Maybe it was the maniacal gleam in his father's eyes. But whatever it was, it saved his life for his father now trained the gun at him.

"If you're really my son, well, it was nice seeing you again. Hello," the Raider said before firing his gun once again. "Goodbye."

Kid had already jumped clear of the cave's mouth but he was a scant second too late. He felt the heat of pain, then the warm gush of blood as the bullet went clean through his arm. While Kid fumbled with his gun, the Raider came out of the cave and aimed his gun at him again. Kid stared at the barrel of the gun with a mixture of dismay and disbelief. Oh hell, Lou, I should have just left the Raiders alone, he thought with a trace of hysterical laugh as he braced for the bullet that would end his life.

But it never came.

The Raider's gun clicked.

It was empty.

The man threw his gun away and ran toward the horses tied to nearby trees. He mounted a huge black stallion, which reared at the unfamiliar weight. But the Raider quickly brought the horse under control and galloped away.

Kid gritted his teeth at the pain on his shoulder and struggled to follow. He whistled for Katy, who galloped obediently to him. He did a running mount and pursued the fleeing Raider.

Where Kid got his talent for horses was apparent in the way the Raider guided his unfamiliar mount around the tricky terrain. But despite years of hard riding, he was still no match for Kid who has never forgotten the lessons he learned as a Pony Express rider.

The Raider watched in desperation as he saw Kid gaining on him. He spurred his horse to run faster but the tired stallion had nothing more to give. Kid caught up with the Raider and they rode dangerously close to each other. They spied the ravine ahead of them at the same time. Kid jerked at Katy's reins to slow her down, but the Raider, hoping to spur Katy into losing control, kicked his leg toward Kid's horse. Unconsciously, he jerked his own reins too hard, plunging his horse down the deep gorge. Kid tried to catch the reins, but caught only air. Man and animal howled as they went down the steep, deadly drop. Kid shuddered against the screams. He had never heard anything like those cries — a terrifying mixture of rage, fear and pain.

Then there was nothing.

* * *

"Riders coming!" 

Lou slowly stood up and straightened away from the young horse she was feeding to watch as the approaching riders kicked up a cloud of dust at a distance. Her instinct was to rush toward the riders and greet her husband, but a sudden intense fear kept her rooted to where she stood.

What if Kid didn't make it, she thought. What if they tell me he died? What if ...

Lou felt someone nudge her. It was Paul, her foreman, motioning at the riders with his head. Go, he mouthed silently.

In a daze, Lou staggered toward the men in horseback, slowly at first then with increasing speed until she was running flat out. She felt like her heart was bursting but she didn't care. "Kid!" she shouted. "Kid! Kid!" she repeated frantically when no one responded. Louisa, who was playing with Marylou on the porch, had also began running toward the riders.

Two riders separated themselves from the pack.

Kid didn't even urge Katy to slow down when he picked up Lou from where she was standing. With one swoop of his left arm, he gathered Lou, hugging her, almost squeezing her and kissing her all at the same time. The scene was repeated as Cody embraced his wife.

Teaspoon staggered down from the porch, his eyes desperately searching the faces of the men who thundered past him. He closed his eyes briefly in prayer as he spotted Buck driving a buckboard. Cold fear gripped his heart when he saw the Indian's worried look. Slowly, Teaspoon made his way toward the buckboard. Lying in the back was Jimmy, a bloody strip of cloth wrapped tightly around his torso. His face was chalky white with pain but he smiled when Teaspoon approached.

"Only the good die young," he managed to whisper.

Teaspoon shook his head and laughed softly. No other words were exchanged. None were needed. Their eyes said everything.

_Forgive me_, Jimmy's said.

_I'm so sorry_, Teaspoon replied.

At sunset the following day, the town of Sweetwater honored its fallen sons. The gunfight between the lawmen and the Raiders ended in the death of all the criminals.

Kid and Lou, Cody and Louisa, Buck, Teaspoon stood with the people of Sweetwater as the preacher recited prayers for the souls of the lawmen. Kid wanted to come clean and tell the mayor about his relationship with the leader of the Raiders, but Jimmy advised him to let sleeping dogs lie. The man was dead anyway, Jimmy said, he could do no harm anymore. Buck and Cody agreed.

* * *

Kid sat on the trunk of a tree that, at one time, had been uprooted halfway and now grew almost parallel to the ground. It was his favorite thinking place. He discovered it when he worked at the Pony Express and told no one about it — except Lou. It was HIS place and when he and Lou came back to Sweetwater, it became theirs. Kid remembered the nights he and Lou just sat here, in each other's embrace talking about their dreams, their future, their secrets. He never told her about his father, though. He never told anyone. Out of shame, out of guilt, who knows? Maybe at the back of his mind he had always known what happened to his father the night he left his family. Maybe he had known since that moment when, hiding behind the bushes, he saw the leader of the Raiders stop and stare at a wayward marble shining in the moonlight. Maybe he had known all along why he was spared, why the death blow never came. 

"Kid."

Kid started at the sound of the voice. He looked up to see his wife approaching.

"You rode out bright and early, so I ..." Lou stopped, her eyes betraying her fear and worry. A stab of pain went through Kid's heart as he realized just how much distress he put his wife through.

"I'm fine, sweetheart. I just needed time to sort things out." Kid took Lou's hand and gently tugged. Lou understood and settled herself carefully on Kid's lap, deftly avoiding his bandaged arm. For what seemed like a long time they sat like that, lost in each other's thoughts. Then Lou turned spoke.

"Sam and Emma and their twins have arrived. That's why I came to find you. And you haven't even seen Amanda who came in last night."

Kid didn't respond. The revelation regarding his father kept repeating itself in his head, stirring fears and worries.

Lou understood her husband's silence, knew him well enough to know what kind of mental and emotional torture he was putting himself through. "Kid, he may have given you life, Kid, but he was never a father to you and Jed. He abandoned you."

"Don't you think I know that?" Kid asked, despair rising in his voice. "But I can't help what I feel. HE WAS MY FATHER."

Lou drew Kid's head down to her breast. She hated this helpless feeling, but she didn't know what else to say.

"I'm so afraid, Lou. What if Jed did what he did because of our father? What if Jed inherited his evil? What if I had more of him in me? What if I become like him?" Kid continued quickly, his voice a bit muffled. "I would die before I hurt you but what if I had bad blood in me?"

"Just like I have some in me?" Lou stepped back and asked softly. "Kid, my father, Boggs, was a criminal. A cruel, cruel man. Does that make me bad, too?"

"Of course not," Kid replied vehemently.

"Kid, we can't let who they were and what they did destroy us."

Kid nodded, though Lou knew the hurt hasn't fully eased. They have time, she thought. Time to understand. Time to heal. She held out her hand and Kid took it firmly between his larger ones. Lou was about to pull Kid's toward the house when her husband lifted her hand and placed a delicate kiss in the palm.

"I love you, Lou."

"I love you, Kid," Lou responded, kissing her husband fully on the lips. "Come, let's greet the family."


	12. Epilogue

There was scurrying among the rocks and that was what woke him. Rats, he thought. Come to feast on my hide. The smell of death was around him and in him. He tried to turn on his side and he screamed in agony. Bone jutted from his shoulders and blood poured from it. Biting his lips, he tried to stand but found his legs useless. They were broken. Crawling, he managed to fight his way, inch by inch toward the soft grass, away from the horse's carcass.

I will not die, he told himself. I will not die.

I will have my revenge.


End file.
